MindBlink

Good-Bye

2011-01-04T20:53:00.007-05:00

I began this blog in June of 2008 as an outlet to talk about my newly discovered passion, the MBTI personality types. It seems so long ago.

I have since embarked on a journey of getting an education. My passion shifted from being an MBTI enthusiast to starting (starting was the hardest part) and getting through college as quickly as possible. Now that I am nearing the end, I feel as though the finish will be somewhat anticlimactic. I'm sure by then, I will have come up with another new and "exciting" thing which will leave my husband shaking his head once again.

At any rate, this blog no longer seems to fit me. I've tried to do many things with it, I've stretched it beyond what it was intended to be, and I've tried my best to keep it going as long as I could.

But quite honestly, I think we're done. It's time to say good-bye. Thank you for the memories. :)

*sniffle*

Writing has become a chore

2010-09-13T14:31:00.006-04:00

I am seriously beginning to wonder if my brain is shriveling up. I cannot sit down and write a decent paragraph anymore unless it is required for a class. Even then, I can only crank out the bare minimum.

I have so many topics that I want to write about on this blog, but the thought of going through the process of writing gets so overwhelming that those ideas just get thrown into the "to be filed" pile.

Honestly, I envy those who continue to blog on a regular basis, and I now completely understand old friends who have stopped. It really is a very difficult task to keep this thing current. There was a time when all I wanted was to write all day long. I've lost that feeling.

I'm getting a headache already after attempting this post. My head is so foggy and thick, I can no longer find my way around in there.

There ya go. That's an update on what's been happening. :)

Describe Yourself in Six Words

2010-08-02T22:22:00.009-04:00

Today's mission on MISSion Amy K.R. blog was to come up with six words (put together) to describe ourselves. I had so many ideas that seem to fit me perfectly that I had a hard time deciding which one to post. Can you guess which one I chose?

Reinventing myself over and over again.
Breaking out of cage of impossibilities.
Little push turns mediocrity into excellence.
Normal: an illusion of the mind.
Refusing norms and exploring the ellipsis…
Good can always be made better.
Looking to improve what doesn’t work.
Forty-something and just getting started.
Learning to see from other angles.
There is always a plan B.

Being Interested Can Be the Greatest Gift

2010-08-01T15:33:00.012-04:00

We were preparing to move to America. I was 12 years old. My grandmother, who had raised me exclusively from age 1 to 6 and intermittently after that, asked me if I wanted to go take a look at her new apartment where she will reside upon our departure. Without a second thought, I told her no, I had plans to hang out with friends. She did not ask me again. A month later, my parents, my brother, my sister, and I boarded a giant airplane headed for the U.S. I never got to see my grandmother's apartment. Two years later, she passed away.

I often try to imagine in my mind where and how she lived after we left. But I cannot see it. I have no memory of it, because I didn't bother to take an interest in the person that I loved the most and whose love I took for granted. It is one of my biggest regrets.

Today, I asked my kids if they would like to go look at my university campus where I will be spending much of my time for the next two years. Without a second thought, they said, no, they had other important and more interesting things to do.

Now I sit here wondering if my grandmother hurt as much as I'm hurting now... and if my actions indicated to her that I had no interest in knowing any details about her life.

This song keeps playing in my head...

To Follow or Not to Follow Advice (A Melon Story)

2010-07-31T23:00:00.013-04:00

I knock on the watermelons for the sound of ripeness before I pick one. Somewhere along the way, I started this habit. When I say "sound of ripeness," I mean any sound that doesn't sound like a dull block of wood.

Yes, you guessed it -- I have no idea how to pick watermelons. A friend once suggested the knocking method, and I've been doing it ever since, for no better reason other than that it makes me look (I'd like to believe) like I know what I'm doing. The worst part of it all is that I never come home with a good watermelon. You would think that I would pick a good one at least some of the time... but no such luck.

Now, picking a cantaloupe is an entirely different story. I look for that nice cantaloupe-like shape with a nice cantaloupe-like color. Then I smell the bellybutton (that's what I call it) of the cantaloupe for that nice cantaloupe-like smell, and I can almost always pick a sweet one. This method has never failed me. However, last week when I was at the farmer's market with my sister, something awful happened.

As I eagerly approached the bin full of cantaloupes fresh off the truck, one of the workers handed me a cantaloupe and said, "Here's a good one!"

"Wow... thank you, " I said, dumbfounded by this trying-to-be-helpful but annoying and unwelcome gesture. I proceeded to bring the fruit up to my nose and inhaled deeply. My head was screaming "put it back!" but what could I do? I felt obligated to nod at the guy and put the less-than-desirable cantaloupe in my cart.

"I actually wanted more than one," I said, hoping to get another chance at the bin.

"Oh? How many? Two? Here are two more. See this green around the stem? That's how you know it's a good one."

Really? I've never heard that before... I was very skeptical, but I wasn't about to argue with this self-proclaimed cantaloupe specialist about how to pick fruit. How would that look? And besides, he could know something that I don't know. After all, he had that confident-farmer look about him, and I felt I should just trust him. I purchased them and brought them home, hoping for the best.

Well, it turns out that his method is crap. I ended up eating mediocre and flavorless (grrrr) cantaloupes. Well, one of them was good, I admit, but I'm certain that was by sheer chance rather than his method. Yep. You should've seen my disappointment when I cut that first one open. *sigh* (You gotta understand... I live for fruit.)

The lesson I learned?

Don't let anyone, not even the "experts," lead me astray. Do my own research, make my own choices, and stick to my guns. Trust science (like the smell of ripeness), not empty words. And it's okay to try someone else's idea if I have none of my own (like how to pick a watermelon), but in the end, I am still responsible for the choices I make. :)

Literature, Fruit, and Life

2010-07-27T11:15:00.011-04:00

The book ended. Sadly, they always do. I tried so hard to savor it as slowly as I could, forcing myself to read only a few pages at a time, but it ended nevertheless.

I wonder if the stories were allowed to go on and on, we would eventually tire of them? And if so, would we still speak of them as fondly?

This leads me to ponder over other things in life. Everything in life seems to be most pleasurable at the peak of its development. Fruits are a great example. I carefully watch, wait for, and pounce on the moment of the fruit's maximum ripeness. If not, I am left with a bitter, rotten, or irritatingly unsatisfying taste in my mouth.

What about people? When developing a relationship, the heart-pounding excitement does not go on forever. We meet a person of interest, get intrigued by them, learn about them, want to spend more and more time with them, then there's the inevitable plateau, or even a downturn. What if a developing relationship ends at its peak just before reaching that plateau, due to circumstances out of either party's control such as relocation or death? Then that person is remembered forever as the best neighbor, friend, colleague, partner, lover, etc. We are left remembering only the extraordinary, because we are spared the ordinary that certainly would have followed. (Hmm... this also makes me wonder about the fine line/overlap between presence and absence -- but that's another think for another time. lol)

I believe humans are constantly driven to seek this type of peak pleasure in everything, whether it be physical, emotional, intellectual, or even spiritual. Of course, some of us have it worse than others, and we must be aware of our healthy boundaries while keeping a grip on reality. But I think the repeating lure of the next (and the next) bite into the ripeness of life is what gets us out of bed every morning.

Perhaps people's addiction to literature is no exception.

The Beauty of Nothing Special

2010-07-20T23:00:00.007-04:00

I spent a lovely day with my two kids. Having nowhere to be other than meeting some friends for lunch, we spent relaxing and laid-back 9 hours together. I am still in awe of just how much we truly enjoyed this lazy and stress-free day filled with mundane and ordinary togetherness. My kids probably didn't even realize it, but I saw us. We were blissfully happy. We get far too few of these times...

The Onging State of Idleness and Uncertainty

2010-07-19T11:26:00.010-04:00

I started this blog, which is actually my third do-over blog/thought journal, to share my fascination with life in general, and the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) in particualr, after having attended a week-long MBTI training session and becoming a certified MBTI nut (haha). My first post was two years ago in June of 2008.

So much has happened/changed since then. I find it interesting that both my life and this blog seem to have turned into a mixed soup with absolutely no clarity or direction. I keep stirring and stirring, hoping that it will turn into something wonderful, but all I keep tasting are mostly doubts and insecurities and only occasional hints of a potential something... something that I cannot quite fully grasp and snap a mental picture of.

Everything seems to be up in the air, in limbo, in a state of confusion, idling and waiting for a push or a pull toward something definitive... something worthy. I thought education would teach me all I need to know about where to go and how to get there. I've been going to college non-stop since January of 2009 (and will be for at least another two years), and I know less now than when I started. How does that happen?

And... I don't know what to do with this blog. I'm fighting the urge to delete and start over again. hmm...

My New DSLR Adventure

2010-07-14T21:16:00.025-04:00

I have about a month before jumping back into full-time study, so I decided to treat myself to an adventure. After many hours of research and shopping around, I am now the owner of a brand new weapon -- my very first DSLR camera: Canon EOS Rebel Xsi. I called it my "Weapon of Mass Perception" on Facebook, but I don't think anyone got it. Oh well...

It's an entry-level camera, and I'm overwhelmed with all the awesome features and the mind-boggling amount of information about aperture, shutter speed, etc. etc. etc... but I think I will eventually get it. maybe.

In the meantime, I LOVE the camera and the crispness of the images I can get with it. Why didn't I get one sooner?--is the question that I keep asking myself. I'm having so much fun taking pictures of everything in sight, such as...

Flowers:

Pets:

Books and magazines laying around:

Fruits:

My food experiments:

And...my family, who are not always accommodating. They give me dirty looks, hide, or run away from me when they see me coming with camera in hand, so I have to sort of play the ninja photographer. But I think these hunt-and-shoot photos turn out to be the most interessting:

Lastly, I love this picture of the clouds. It doesn't look like much, I know, but looking at it makes me happy. I will be taking many more cloud shots, I'm sure! :)

A New Look!!

2010-06-29T15:50:00.003-04:00

I have not posted anything for a while... and in lieu of writing a post, I thought I'd change the look of the blog. Whaddaya think??? :)

And... just to give you something to ponder over, check this out:

I just LOVE him!!

Making Friends with the Fear of Humiliation

2010-05-31T08:09:00.018-04:00

I've been in school for a year and a half now, and it seems the more I learn, the less I know. What's that song?--the one that goes:

I say hey I'll be gone today
But I'll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see
The less I know

Well...that's how I feel about my brain and its ability to retain anything. One time, a good friend asked me, "If you could do one thing all the time for the rest of your life, what would it be?" and I answered that I would love to write for the rest of my life. But that's before I knew just how revealing one's writing is about one's knowledge, maturity, and intelligence.

Karen Horney (pronounced Horn-eye) (1885-1952) was a German psychologist who believed that we have three different selves--the Real Self, the Despised Self, and the Ideal Self. The Real Self is the inner core of our personalities, the real and healthy self. The Despised Self describes our perceived inadequacies amplified by our perception of how others evaluate us. The Ideal Self, then, is our version of perfection that we continuously strive toward in order to compensate for the inferior feelings of the Despised Self.

She also believed that the purpose and goal of psychoanalysis should not be to help someone get closer to their Ideal Self but to help him/her to fully accept his/her Real Self.

I was raised by my grandmother from age one to five in her attempts to help out my mother. Although this was not an uncommon occurrence in Korea at the time--meaning my situation is not at all unusual--I struggled with rejection, both real and imagined, when I rejoined my parents and two siblings. It makes sense, then, that I have always battled with my Despised Self and still fight it on a daily basis.

But how do you even begin to unravel the web that has been twisted and knotted so tightly that the original thread is no longer discernible? No. I cannot fathom it. Besides, I think the twists and knots are rather interesting, even beautiful in a puppy-so-ugly-that-it's-cute sort of way. It's mind-boggling to think that I have to somehow get underneath all that to see what's supposed to be real.

Instead, I'd rather step back, look at the knotted mess as an intricate and necessary part of this "Real Self," and continue knitting my own unique bumpy and ugly sweater with it. If nothing else, it will keep me humble. N'est pas?

Anyway, writing is still one of my passions. But I suspect that it will never measure up to my own standards, regardless of how educated I become. I cringe today at what I wrote yesterday, and I will cringe tomorrow at what I wrote today. I will always be terrified of what others will think of it. I guess that feeling of "not good enough" extends into everything I do.

But instead of attempting to eliminate the fear, I just make friends with it and take away its power. Fear of humiliation never stops me from throwing myself on stage again and again (and coming home crying with mental tomato stains.) ...But there's always a tomorrow to do it again (and again). ...And according to Shakespeare, "all the world's a stage!" Ha! ;)

Image: http://vi.sualize.us/view/beuchampniven/034e863a325dea9ba9d6dd8613ce415d/

Sky's the Limit

2010-04-27T21:13:00.003-04:00

Soft pastel on black paper

Rethinking the MBTI

2010-04-19T21:59:00.009-04:00

I have not written anything about the MBTI in quite a while, but I've been thinking about an interesting question lately.

Do we perceive our MBTI preferences in comparison to the people around us? For example, I grew up in a family full of Js. And my husband is the king of all Js. Therefore, I, who may or may not be a P at all, tend to see my own behaviors as extremely P-like in comparison to them.

Let's take one of the questions on the assessment: "Does following a schedule A) appeal to you or B) cramp you?"

Except for those who find themselves at either extreme, I tend to think most people would answer according to how they compare with other people around them. In my case, I have been choosing B as my answer, because I have always come up short against my husband's militaristic routines. But as I've been dealing with a few absent-minded professors and way-too-laid-back team members on class projects as of late, I would likely choose A as my answer if I were to take the assessment today.

To put it simply, it's like this: I am tall and plump when I'm with my Asian friends but short and thin when I'm with my American friends.

MBTI can be an excellent tool and a great starting point for us to explore how we think and behave, but I'm beginning to have some reservations about the four letters that we assign ourselves. To me, they are just too restricting. I think my true MBTI type is EISNTFJP and any combination thereof.

Perhaps we can only see ourselves in relationship to the others who surround us. And, of course, that can and does change.

Back to the original plan

2010-04-18T20:13:00.013-04:00

My art exploration semester is almost over, and I'm getting ready to dive into the books again. boo...

I would love to continue foo-farting around with my quasi-talent that may or may not improve with time. There's still so much I have not tried, such as painting, watercolor, ceramics, and sculpting. If I had discovered that making art is my passion, I could justify wasting more time to explore. But that's not at all the case. Perhaps I could come back to it when I'm in need of a hobby. But for now, I need to move on...get back on track.

The workaholic in me is anxious to get this show on the road toward something more practical. So... I signed up for a full load in the summer and again in the fall. I'm hoping to finish my BA by the end of 2011.

Oh... and remember when I said I would only post original images from now on? I take that back. I change my mind. I've decided I don't need to put myself under strict guidelines. The rest of the world gives me enough of that already. Sometimes I'm better at finding what fits instead of coming up with original stuff. Hey, we all have to know our limitations, right? There's nothing wrong with taking short-cuts when I need to. Whew! That's a load off my mind!

I was torn about the art thing up until just now, but now I feel so much better!

Onward!

Yay! :-)

UPDATE: Umm... yes, you guessed it. I'm rethinking my plans again. Gosh, this just seems like my last chance to get it right, and at the end of this journey, I don't wanna be "should-ing" all over myself (to steal someone else's clever phrase).

I know I'm putting myself in danger of looking very flaky when I share so much of my indecisive pacing back and forth in my head, but this is MY space. I will have no shame in showing my uber-flaky, fruit-cake-y, scatter-brainy, wishy-washy, and cringe-worthy side!

To make long story short, I am reconsidering the art thing, along with the psychology thing, which will perhaps turn into an Art Therapy thing... Then I will have the best of both worlds AND also be able to somehow make a difference in other people's lives, which, contrary to what I thought, is more important to me than anything else. Funny...as I write those very words in this moment, they became more true than ever before.

Entre Vous...

2010-04-17T16:38:00.009-04:00

I took this shot at the park the other day. Doesn't this look like an entry way into a fairy tale?

Illustration Project

2010-04-16T13:49:00.007-04:00

Old nursery rhyme revisited:

Illustrator + Photoshop + InDesign.

I added the second verse. What do you think? :)

Chalk it up to spring...

2010-04-16T13:23:00.011-04:00

Experimenting with chalk pastels in Drawing I class:

Spring

Balancing Act

Forest

Don't let it drop...

2010-04-16T13:13:00.005-04:00

Class project: Create a magazine ad. Photoshop + Illustrator.

It's all about me me me!

2010-04-16T13:08:00.007-04:00

Class project. Collage about self. Photoshop + Illustrator.

Many shades of Carl Jung

2010-04-16T12:59:00.007-04:00

Class project. Adobe Illustrator CS4.

Tenacity

2010-04-16T12:49:00.007-04:00

This is my hero: A cherry tree in our front yard with that bag gash in its trunk.

Sprezzatura

2010-03-22T13:37:00.007-04:00

It is becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with the blog. I have considered deleting the account many times, but I just can't bring myself to do it for whatever reason. I think it's because there's so much of me contained herein... because I try to be more honest here than anywhere else. I need not follow any rules here - grammatical, social, or otherwise (unless I want to). ;)

Here's the latest drawing I did of a painting by Raphael. I used pencil, compressed charcoal, and some pastels. It's a portrait of Baldassare Castiglione. Castiglione wrote The Book of the Courtier, in which he coined the Italian word "sprezzatura," meaning "effortless grace." It is the ability to perform difficult actions with the appearance of ease and nonchalance. The opposite of sprezzatura is affectation.

This word has been on my mind for the last few weeks. Sprezzatura requires years of practice so that the act becomes almost a second nature. I find it ironic that it also seems to require many years of soul searching and loads of courage, even lots of practice, to know and display what is our true nature - who we really are underneath all the accumulated muck and lies. hmm...

BTW, it took me what seemed like forever to finish the drawing for our final project. I don't think I would be drawing another portrait anytime soon...

Grass looks greener on the other blogs

2010-01-31T00:59:00.011-05:00

I don't know what it is lately, but I've been discovering so many talented and creative people who write blogs. No, I'm not looking for them, but I somehow end up at their sites and drool over their creativity, which seems far superior to mine.

Having been inspired by the originality and genuineness displayed by these sites I've visited, I've made one decision about mine: I will do my best to use my own images for all of my posts from here on out (except, of course, when the post calls for other specific images).

Let's see how that goes...

:-)

Art and Personality

2010-01-27T10:04:00.028-05:00

In class, we were introduced to the works of two contemporary glass artists, both amazing and fascinating in their unique styles:

Dale Chihuly

And
Josiah McElheny

In addition to the above images, you can learn more about them here and here.

Although they both work with glass, I am floored by how night-and-day their styles are. We watched the videos of their interviews and listend to their creative process, and I could not help but think about personalities as they relate to art -- not only in the way we create art, but also our preferences in the way we appreciate art.

Please enlighten me if I'm repeating what someone else has already said... but I really think we can know a lot about the unspoken and hidden facets of our personalities through art. Sometimes we are shocked to discover things even in ourselves that we had not realized. Or is it just me? I understand that how we project ourselves outward says a lot about us, but how and what we perceive inward may say even more. In other words, what we take in is just as much an indicator of our personality as what comes out of us as expressions and behaviors. To put it yet another way, perhaps what we choose (or prefer) to receive from the world and people is even more telling than what we choose to give. Whew! I feel like I'm always stumbling over my words trying to describe my thoughts...

One thing that I did newly discover is that although I have some hint of talent (ok. I'll stop denying it and finally admit it), making original art is not where my true talent lies. I am, however, an avid observer and appreciator of art. I passionately love soaking in other people's work, their expressions. I seek to find ways to bring that experience to others who may not get the chance to experience it otherwise. That must be why I enjoy the "making-of" documentaries even more so than seeing the work itself, whether it be 2D, 3D, video, audio, or literary. I love to study the who, what, when, where, and, especially, how and why.

Do you think that's an Introverted trait? More and more lately, I think I'm more of an "I" rather than an "E". Or am I an introverted "E"? Or an "I" who has to think out loud? This preference pair always stumped me. hmm...

Anyway, I wanted to share with you some thoughts from other thinkers about art:

In order correctly to define art, it is necessary, first of all, to cease to consider it as a means to pleasure and to consider it as one of the conditions of human life. Viewing it in this way we cannot fail to observe that art is one of the means of intercourse between man and man. ~ in "What is Art" by Leo Tolstoy.

I'll have to go back and re-read that essay (which I only quickly skimmed about a year ago) more carefully.

Also, after writing this post, I have a renewed appreciation for the following quote that I've always loved because of its depth (although I'm not about to go and read "In Search of Lost Time" anytime soon):

:-)

Our vanity, our passions, our spirit of imitation, our abstract intelligence, our habits have long been at work, and it is the task of art to undo this work of theirs, making us travel back in the direction from which we have come to the depths where what has really existed lies unknown within us. ~ Marcel Proust

Fear of Art?

2010-01-22T11:18:00.013-05:00

It's been two weeks since my new "art" semester started, and I am filled with apprehension and fear.

Not having done any sort of sketching in over 25 years (last time was in high school), trying to relax and enjoy this little detour is excruciatingly difficult. When did I pick up this habit of pouring all of my energy into every little thing I do?

When I look at my drawings, I only see flaws... I am so critical of my own work. I fear that I will be found out as a fraud - someone only pretending to be artistic - to match my ongoing fear of being found out that I'm a lousy writer after all.

But in a way, the fear keeps me going. I fear things but I'm also drawn to do what I fear (exploring the unknown, etc.) Besides, what fun would anything be if I knew for certain that I am good at it?

Well, anyway, here are a few things I've done this week:

The next one is my very first digital drawing I did in my computer graphics class. Adobe Illustrator is awesome!

Image of papaya: http://www.thedailygreen.com/healthy-eating/eat-safe/Save-on-Sustainable-Gallery-44032808

Slight Detour

2010-01-12T21:04:00.012-05:00

So... I've decided to give myself an awesome treat.

I'm putting psychology on hold for one semester and pretending to be an art major. Why? - BECAUSE I CAN!! :)

Believe me, it took a lot-- I mean, A LOT --of self-talk and coaxing to allow myself to take this detour. I am at my best when I'm coming up with ideas and being creative, regardless of the subject. In every single one of my classes thus far, what I enjoyed the most on any project were the creative process and the artistic aspect. Last semester, when I was drawing some bacteria in my lab book, I remembered how much I used to enjoy drawing when I was in high school, and I decided that I will definitely take an art class in the semester coming up.

But have you ever known me to just stick my toes in something? NOT! I have to jump in head first and swim for my life with everything I've got. So while I was revising my academic plan a hundred times before registration, one art class turned into two, and two turned into four. Eventually, I decided to fully explore the right side of my brain and really find out what kind of an artist I am before going back to psychology. Who knows? Maybe I will end up changing my major when I get to the university in the fall. Graphic design sounds like an interesting option.

After the first week of class, here I sit wondering if I am being too indulgent. And also scared...at the possibility of finding out that I have less than impressive creative talent.

I have to keep reminding myself to take a deep breath and be in the moment. As a good friend always tells me, nothing I learn will be wasted, no matter the subject.

Back to (ab)normal

2010-01-05T23:41:00.005-05:00

Ahhhhhhh~

That's the sound of my exhaling. The holidays are over, except for the way-too-large-for-the-room fake tree that everyone dreads de-ornamenting (ugh! don't get me started on how much sense this odd annual ritual makes). But the un-doing of the red and green sparkly hell is somehow not as stress-ridden, so I have basically calmed down to a low growl toward the direction of the empty boxes patiently waiting to be filled and banished for another 11 months.

Life is almost back to normal. the normal abnormal.

Onward with 2010! :)

Image

Can I choose NOT to be merry?

2009-11-27T19:54:00.011-05:00

November and December are my least favorite months of the year. I start getting into my grumpy mood about the second week in November and don't come out of it until after January.

Perhaps it has something to do with the cold weather. But it's more likely that I become too overwhelmed with the pressures and obligations surrounding the holidays. There are just too many parties, gatherings, collections for the needy, family obligations, hours spent in traffic, and shopping for useless gifts.

I know I get this way every year... and it's getting worse.

You must give, you must love, you must socialize, you must be cheerful, and you MUST ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT... or else! Or else? Yes... or else you are seen as a Scrooge and frowned upon. Or else you are a social misfit. Or else you will live a miserable life then shrivel up and die alone. Oh, really?

When? When did this unwritten social law go into effect?

And that's why I rebel against it. Not because I don't want to give, love, or socialize... but because I don't like anyone else telling me how, when, and whom to love. I don't feel like I have a choice in the matter during the holidays. What happened to our freedom to choose?

Maybe I'll start decorating a cherry tree in April and giving random gifts in August just to throw people off. Hmm...

It's a bad attitude, I know. Shame on me for not enjoying such a joyous time of the year. Is it just me? ;-)

Popularity at what cost?

2009-11-23T10:08:00.019-05:00

There is so much talk about the shocking performances at the AMA last night, such as that of Adam Lambert.

It is no shocking revelation that artists will always push the limits and force us out of our comfort zone. That's the beauty and the gift of art. But when does it cross the line? Where is that fine line when art becomes lost in the heap of I-dare-you-to-judge-me stunts? Don't get me wrong... I am not judging the content of the performance. I'm just wondering about the motivation behind it.

This makes me wonder if we, as social animals, all end up selling ourselves short for the cheap thrill of receiving momentary attention and/or admiration? Do we begin to lose our true selves in order to continue pleasing the audience?

If we succumb to the pressure of keeping our fans and constantly having to one-up ourselves, where is the freedom in that?

If freedom of expression is used as a crutch merely to shock people, where is the art in that?

Is it possible to rise above this dreaded addiction to attention? As I sit back and criticize others, I have to admit I often feel it too (the need to dare them, to please them, to prove a point to them... whatever it is, it can easily become a trap and a prison).

Am I showing my age with this view? Am I just not keeping up with what's current? Am I the one who's just not getting it?

Update: I had to revise some of my unfair and harsh statements I had previously written. I apologize if you saw them before the revision. :)

Is Religion Selfish?: My thoughts after watching "To Verdener" ["Worlds Apart"]

2009-11-22T16:21:00.022-05:00

self⋅ish
–adjective
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

(Dictionary.com)

I’ve come down with a cold, which gave me an excuse to mope around in front of the TV and get a chance to flip through the recorded movies on our DVR (we record random foreign movies that look interesting), and I stumbled upon a thought-provoking movie.

The movie is based on a true story about a 17-year-old girl struggling to deal with the clashing viewpoints between her faith and the realities of the world around her. She has a loving family and is deeply devoted to her church until she meets and falls in love with a boy who does not share her beliefs, at which time she begins to question the ideas which she had previously blindly accepted. She is then rejected by the church and also by her family, who essentially has no choice if they are to remain in their faith. She tries fervently to maintain her relationship with them, but to no avail.

In the final scene, she is confronted by her father after she has made an unwelcome appearance at the funeral of an old friend. I cannot remember the exact wording in the dialogue, but it went something like this:

Father: It was selfish of you to have come. Don’t you know it’s painful for us to see you?

Sara: Dad? Do you love me?

Father: What kind of question is that? Of course I love you very much.

Sara: Do you love God more than me?

Father: Yes… I do.

Sara: Why?

Father: Because he’s my father in heaven. Because he created me. Because he promises me an everlasting life…

Sara: Dad, you are the one who is selfish.

She then walks away.

It’s a powerful statement and one that is worth pondering.

(Side note: The religion in question is Jehovah’s Witness… but I intentionally did not mention it above, because it may then be shrugged off as a story about cults. But it’s more than that. I think the message can be applied to any dogmatic belief system, religion or otherwise, wherein we can lose sight of what’s right in front of us in our attempts to chase the rainbow.)

(Check out the Danish movie, Worlds Apart, if you get a chance.)

Normally Abnormal

2009-11-21T19:16:00.010-05:00

This is turning out to be a fun place for me to just pop in for a few minutes to get my mind off of other things... like writing a paper.

I've been attempting to write a psych term paper all day, which I should have started a month ago and finished by now. During the course of this day of report-writing frenzy, I've written three posts (this makes it four) on this blog, wrote two long comments on other blogs, and created urgent needs to make two emergency shopping trips, one of which was to go buy a 6-pound medicine ball. Why? Because I felt the sudden urge to play catch with it, that's why! Sheesh! The way you're shaking your head, one would think it's not something EVERYONE does in the middle of doing homework. What? No? hmm...

Anyway, I think I have some ADD symptoms. But doesn't everybody to a degree?

I have finally managed to force myself to finish the first draft, and we'll see if I can somehow come up with a final draft by tomorrow.

Honestly, sometimes I have to roll my eyes at myself...

Image: http://thegazz.com/gblogs/karinfuller/2008/01/13/structured-procrastination/

"Please Don't Label Me" bus campaign

2009-11-21T15:49:00.006-05:00

This is a bus campaign recently launched by the British Humanist Association. Many Christians are outraged by such ads. I have had mixed feelings about previous bus ads and billboards being promoted by various secular and humanist groups.

I have to say, though, this one is clearly not an anti-Christian or pro-atheist message.

I like it. Okay? So go ahead... Beat me over the head with a Bible.

Wrong on every level

2009-11-21T13:15:00.008-05:00

The following story was recently posted on the Christian Science Monitor site.

May I just say that it's just plain wrong and puts another bitter taste in my mouth for religion in general? Pe---tui!! (Read for yourselves.)

Biblical anti-Obama slogan: Use of Psalm 109:8 funny or sinister? | csmonitor.com

Outcast by Choice

2009-11-21T10:53:00.011-05:00

I often find myself in a group or a place where I feel like an outcast. I somehow end up being the odd person out whenever I'm sitting in the classroom, among friends, in church, neighborhood functions, other social gatherings, etc.... Throughout my life, I had assumed this is because either I was flawed or the group was flawed. Or simply blame it on my minority status, which is the easiest way to get out of thinking too hard... and a cop-out.

What I have recently discovered was that I often seem to choose to be the outcast. A part of me does not want to belong to a larger group. I rather enjoy being an enigma most of the time. I don't like being influenced by other's views and I like to see things for myself and make up my own mind about everything. That's why I end up doing things that people warn me against and also refuse to do the things they say I must do. ...unless I have coincidentally decided on my own that I will or will not do those things. If there is one view, I come up with an opposing view. If there are two opposing views, I come up with a third view. If a third view is already presented, then I try to think of a whole new perspective... and so on. It can be very annoying, I know. ;-) However, I'm not afraid to admit I'm wrong when it's pointed out to me or change my mind in the middle of an argument.

But back to the point of being an outcast... When I start to feel like I'm being too immersed in a group, I start to feel uncomfortable. I think it's the discomfort of blending with others that I dislike more so than the awkwardness of being the oddball. I end up seeking out other groups, views, and ideas. Hmm... perhaps this is a commitment issue? I don't think so, but worth exploring at another time (mental note).

Yes, I do take freethinking to the extreme sometimes and end up with my face in the dirt. But hey, I'd rather have a dirty face than a face made on the assembly line.

Is it bad? Is it just me? ;-)

I have no time for incompetence

2009-11-14T09:42:00.012-05:00

If you've landed here via psychology.alltop.com, I apologize. This blog should not be listed there. I just want it said that I've asked for it to be removed from the list (but why is it still there?). I have no qualifications to talk about psychology other than the fact that I am a student of psychology and love to observe and contemplate human behavior in myself and others. Honestly, I was put there by mistake. I'm not an expert on the subject nor do I pretend to be, which brings me to my next point...

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be judgmental in what I'm about to say. I make a huge effort not to judge people (this is very important to me), but I cannot help but judge their performance. I'm just trying to be honest.

Those who know me understand that it's one of my pet peeves -- people pretending to be something they are not. Incompetent people should not pretend to be competent. Unqualified people should not pretend to be qualified. There should be a direct correlation between effort and reward. If recognition is given, it should be deserved. And if it is deserved, it should be given.

Service providers who charge high-quality prices with mediocre or inferior service? That annoys me to no end. Customers who are too stupid to notice or too "nice" to speak up, allowing them to continue in the same way? That annoys me even more. Pacifists who frown upon others for their honest critique? That downright infuriates me.

That's why I've always felt uncomfortable when people describe me as "nice." That's another thing that close friends know about me. I'm not that nice. Sometimes I can even be cold and uncaring in trying to tell the truth. I'll lend you my shoulders (to a point) for your sob stories...sure. But don't let those sob stories interfere with your work or use them as an excuse for poor performance. If you can't keep up, remove yourself from the job and let someone else more competent take your spot. No hard feelings.

I'll only put up with it for one reason and one reason only -- if you have creative talent that surpasses your pain-in-the-ass-ness.

Is that bad? Is it just me?

(UPDATE: Yep... I was in one of my moods when I wrote this... oh well.)

Image: http://www.theodoresworld.net/archives/2009/07/judges_dont_belong_on_the_batt.html

The "Golden Rule" in practice

2009-11-10T10:56:00.004-05:00

Now... this is what I'm talking about. I could not agree more. However, putting ourselves in the other person's mindset... I mean, trying to really THINK like they think, see exactly what they see... has to be the hardest thing to achieve. I'm not sure if I agree with the part about the terrorists, though. That also involves religion, which messes up all logical thinking and complicates things at a whole new level. Anyway, his thoughts are very much worth pondering:

What is higher education?

2009-11-10T09:58:00.010-05:00

Okay... the image is an inside joke, representing Professor Teeth. Don't ask. Anyway, on with the rant.

During class, I often have so many questions and so many thoughts about what is being presented. I always want to explore other perspectives... other points of view. Even if I agree... and especially if I agree strongly. Two weeks ago, I posed a question to my history professor via email about a passionate lecture he gave... but it was not well received. Obviously, he knows much more about the subject being taught than myself. My only goal is to learn to think better. I was not looking to challenge him. I was looking for some bouncing back and forth of thoughts. But a professor who doesn't want to discuss another possible point of view with a student? Hmm...

The psychology class is another doozy. There is just so much material to be covered, and the information gets presented from the text book as if that is the way it is. The professor is willing to listen to questions, but there is a tight agenda for each class and, as a matter of fact, for the whole semester, and serious discussion is not possible.

Then there are the classes where we spend hours upon hours to write a paper, and it sits in the professor's inbox for weeks on end or we get it back with a letter grade and very little feedback. What meaning does a 4.0 GPA have when there is no satisfaction of having grown and matured in my thinking?

In each class, we are told that we should think critically. Yet there is not enough allowance (in time or attitude) for discussion or any serious questions to explore another view. I started college for the opportunity to think with other thinkers. But instead, I'm just getting more high school at an accelerated speed. Perhaps this will change when I get to the university? when I get into upper level classes...?

Is it just me?

Free at Last!!

2009-11-05T12:54:00.004-05:00

Yay! I deleted my twitter account, and now I can think freely on here (sort of).

Let's try... Hmm... yeah.

Hmmmmm...... oooh yeah.

HMMMMMMMM..... Ahhh~

Ciao for now!

Image: http://us.sanyo.com/Think-GAIA

Oh, twitter... you annoy me so.

2009-10-29T22:34:00.010-04:00

Ok... that's it. Somewhere in the internet world, there is an RSS fairy who keeps sending the feed from this blog to my twitter account. I have no idea how to get the darn application to stop sending them. Twitterfeed doesn't even have it on the feed list. Argh.... I no longer want to advertise every rant I write by having it show up as a tweet. Whatever happened to the old days when people just accidentally stumbled upon my site? I find self-promotion extremely uncomfortable, especially when I don't have much to say that's worthy of attention. That's what twitter was starting to feel like, thus my absence. Oh, twitter. What do I do with you? Delete or not to delete the account?

And this. What do I do with this blog? It served me well as a place to vent my thoughts for a while, but...

but... yeah. Exactly... hmm...

As I publish this second blog post of the day, it [blogging] just seems to have lost the appeal. I tried very hard to find some remaining spark, but I'm coming up with nothing.

Perhaps I'll be back someday.

You can't say that I didn't give it my best...

Reward without effort

2009-10-29T15:11:00.011-04:00

Today I'm wondering if there is any value in receiving an award if there was not much effort put into the achievement.

There was an award ceremony yesterday at the high school. My son is an honor roll student who gets his grades with little or no effort (a concern of mine, but back to the point...) It did not mean much to him that there was such a ceremony and, therefore, shrugged it off as not important. Contrary to what other parents may think, my husband and I agree with our kids and do not push them to attend the events if they are not particularly proud of their accomplishments.

On the other hand, when he worked hard at memorizing his lines for a dramatic performance and put every effort into researching and practicing his part, he was extremely proud of his work and ecstatic about the praise and the attention he received.

Call me old-fashioned or even cold-hearted... but honestly, should kids be constantly rewarded for their innate abilities or skills without putting in any extra effort? I agree that encouragement is always important, but there is a clear difference between encouragement and under-deserved reward. Shouldn't the "C" that was received after hard work be more deserving than the "A" which came easily? In addition, do our kids really need to be showered with medals and trophies at every turn and have all their material wishes granted on every holiday? Shouldn't exceptional rewards follow truly exceptional efforts?

I don't know... I could be missing something, but it just doesn't make sense to me...

Quentin Tarantino, I know what you mean...

2009-07-27T00:38:00.014-04:00

In this week's "The Week" magazine, Quentin Tarantino is quoted as saying:

"When I'm doing a movie, I'm not doing anything else. It's all about the movie. Nothing can get in my way. The whole world can go to hell and burst into flames. I don't care. If you're climbing Mount Everest, you're not doing anything else. All your concerns, all the mundane things, family, any of that, it just--pfft--disappears."

I know EXACTLY what he means by that, because I have that same trait. And it doesn't seem to be a choice. The project, whatever I'm working on, becomes my whole world and nothing else exists for the duration. I end up feeling like I'm short-changing my family, but I can't seem to help myself. It's good to know that there are others.

Addressing the Wrong Issue - Is it really about race?

2009-07-26T10:51:00.010-04:00

The above statement by President Obama opened up the floodgates of criticism, as well as support, about whether he should have even gotten involved. Some say that racial profiling in America is an issue that needs to be brought up and discussed. But was this incident really about race?

Here's a slightly different view:

"My suspicion is that this was not about race, this was about power," said Richard Weinblatt, director of the Institute for Public Safety at Central Ohio Technical College. "In the old days, we used to call this 'contempt of cop.' This person was charged with 'contempt of cop' because they kept pushing and pushing. But it has opened up a very powerful national dialogue on race, and it's something that police need to address." ~ from a Washington Post article

If the issue is about power, then why are we not talking about power instead of race? I totally agree with the statement that power and class division are the bigger issues here.

Could the situation possibly be seen from the following perspective?:

a) a highly educated and respected professor refusing to succumb to what could be interpreted as undue authority imposed on him by less educated police officer

in direct conflict with

b) a highly respected and experienced law enforcement officer given the power to make arrests at his discretion feeling disrespected by what could be interpreted as academic and, possibly, upper-class arrogance

Perhaps race did play a role, but I don't think it was the main issue at all. I just think that the "race card" is grossly overplayed in this country. It's so much easier to blame it on racism than to look at a more complex problem that would put all of us under one umbrella.

Working through the heaviness

2009-07-13T10:39:00.014-04:00

I woke up with something heavy in the pit of my stomach. It wanted some attention, so I ventured.

I guess it must come from suddenly feeling disconnected from the world as I knew it. I wondered when was the last time I got together with my girlfriends just to laugh? When was the last time I called my sister or my mom just to talk? When was the last time I saw my church family? When was the last time I went shopping for something other than food? When was the last time I cooked a meal from scratch? When was the last time I went to the theater? When was the last time I saw the ocean?

Two semesters ago, I have jumped in head first into this college endeavor of mine, and I have not looked back. With a maximum course load, together with my annoying need to overachieve in everything, I go to bed thinking about my assignments and wake up thinking about my assignments. Do I even have the capability of half-assing anything? I don't even know what that means.

I often jolt to a waking state in a panic, thinking that I have overslept and missed a class... only to find that I still have plenty of time.

I am struggling to keep my priorities in order, that being that I am a mother first, wife second, and a student third. The third seems to repeatedly come up as first; and although my family understands and fully supports me, I'm left wondering if I'm being unfair to them. But, miraculously, we are still managing through it as one unit.

That leads me to the rest of the people and things that are being neglected. I do have an obsessive-compulsive streak in the way I jump into things, and I'm known to get tunnel vision when I am focused on a project/mission. But this has to be, by far, the most I have become detached from life outside of my immediate world.

I know that keeping a balance is probably the key to coming out at the other end of this journey emotionally intact, but that's easier said than done.

I still get butterflies as I arrive on campus each morning, or as I sit in a classroom waiting for the professor to arrive. I still can't believe I am actually finally going after what I've always wanted. How can I not give it my 200 percent? So, I find myself on the ride of my life while gripping tightly onto the love and support of my husband and my kids. There's no more room for anything else.

And once in a while, I feel the disconnect from all those other people and things I love... and wonder if I'm doing the right thing. There will be no more do-overs. This is it. What if ten years from now, I look back and realize I had traveled on the wrong train?

I let it hang in all of its heaviness for a moment...take a deep breath...then ask myself, "Am I still having fun?" And the answer is, "Oh, yes!" I went into this promising myself to keep having fun, and I must maintain that perspective if I want any chance at crossing the finish line. At the same time, I know that if the answer should ever change, I have the choice to get off the ride. I have to allow myself that loophole in order to continue breathing.

Also, I have this... the online outlet for expressing and releasing my thoughts so they don't just fester inside my mind. It is a much appreciated friend. :-)

Having worked through the heaviness this morning... for the time being, the weight lifts and the confusion subsides. Onward, student!

[Image credit: Don Hong-Oai]

Open letter to the sensible state trooper

2009-07-11T00:11:00.024-04:00

Thank you, Mr. State Trooper, for pointing out that my recently purchased used vehicle of one week was in violation of the Virginia window tint law.

Thank you for being so thoughtful to ask me if I had been pulled over before, to which I replied, "No, I just purchased the vehicle one week ago from someone from another state, and I've just registered it, put on the plates, and had it inspected earlier today."

Thank you for advising me that the rear windows should let in at least 35% of the light and the front window should let in at least 50%, which I agree every driver in the state of Virginia should be aware of, along with many other such laws that most people don't take the time to know inside and out because they just assume that’s the purpose of state inspections.

Thank you for taking such care in filling out all of the blanks on the lovely form you handed to me, called "Virginia Uniform Summons" and letting me know that signing the form in no way means admitting guilt.

Thank you for choosing a court date when I will be in school and cannot afford to miss another class because I just got done working my ass off trying to catch up for the two classes I missed last week because of my kids.

Thank you for keeping your composure when I suddenly lost control and protested that you were being absolutely unfair in giving me a ticket, when a simple warning would have had me in the tinting shop within two days. How was I to know this information about the tint? Where the hell do I find the details of the law? Thank you for consoling me by letting me know that "this is nothing to get so upset over," when my frustration overwhelmed me and I could not talk without crying.

I did later attempt to search for the information, Mr. State Trooper, because, after all, you insisted that I was personally responsible for knowing every state law pertaining to my vehicle. After much trouble, I did find some ambiguous jargon at the bottom of this page on your website.

Then I finally found the information to which you referred on a page that talks about, of all things, medical waivers on the DMV site.

This has been such an educational experience for me, and I am forever grateful to you for teaching me this valuable lesson which I would have never learned otherwise. I would love to appear in court just to have the chance to see you again in all of your brilliance and common sense; however, I have no choice but to mail in my signed admission of guilt along with the $91 in fines.

Please be assured that you have yet again done your duty, and the streets of Virginia are much, MUCH safer place because of it.

With loving respect,

L.M.

After-thought: Even if I were aware of the specifics of the tint law, shouldn't I be allowed more than a mere week from purchasing the vehicle to correct the problem? I just don't get it...

On Father's Day...

2009-06-20T23:12:00.009-04:00

I’ve had the pleasure of watching a gifted writer grow from a delightful little girl into a lovely young woman with a bright future ahead of her. Recently, I was allowed a small peek into the precious and vulnerable words written from her heart. I was so moved by her writing that I asked for her permission to post it on my blog as a Father’s Day post. I promised her anonymity, as she was too shy to let anyone else read it, including her own parents. I hope someday, she will have enough courage to share it with the wonderful people she loves…

I wonder if he has freckles dotting the corners of his eyes, like I do… if his ring fingers are double-jointed, like mine are…if I interited my stubborn spirit and insatiable sweet tooth from him.

I’ve crafted him in my imagination as a cross between Superman and Old Saint Nick, the perfect combination of love and strength. He sill sweep me up into his arms and hold me so close that I can smell his breath, a mixture of peppermint and tobacco, and the unfamiliar scent of the years I have missed. I will murmur words of comfort into his ear as he struggles to find words big enough to tell me how much he loves me.

I already know I will forgive him.

There’s only one flaw in my plan, though: my father left twelve years ago, and he hasn’t yet come looking for me.

I’m afraid I won’t recognize him, though, for I can only remember my father by the one photo I have of him. In it, he is squinting into the camera, shielding his eyes from the sun, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips, his other arm wrapped tightly around me like a cocoon. I wonder if he knew, even then, that he wouldn’t see any of it: my preschool graduation, as I pranced across a makeshift podium; my first dance, Hawaiian-themed, as I returned home with stars in my eyes, a wilted lei draped around my neck; or my first varsity tennis match, where I marched off the court with my head held high, saving the tears until I fell into my mother’s warm embrace.

But despite his mistakes, and all the memories he missed, I always wanted him back. When I was younger, I would clasp my hands and squeeze my eyes tight, afraid that if I peeked, God wouldn’t bring him back. I asked for a daddy who would help me with my homework every night. A dad who would skip his football game to help me learn to rollerblade. Someone who would love me more than love itself, who wouldn’t be dragged from me come heaven or hell. Someone who would give up his life if I couldn’t be a part of it.

Someone like the man my stepfather has been for nine years.

It’s funny how, oftentimes, you don’t realize what’s right in front of you because you’ve been looking back for so long. I sought love, acceptance, and comfort from the man who left me willingly, never realizing that I had it all in another father ready to step in. A father unrelated by blood, but bound by something a thousand times stronger.

~ H.

Happy Father’s Day… to all fathers out there… those who are truly present, as well as those who are only able to love from afar.

Generation RX, the documentary

2009-06-13T09:36:00.017-04:00

I recently watched an important film by Kevin P. Miller (@kevinpmiller), Generation RX. I ordered the DVD through the website, but you can also find it on Amazon.

We watched the video as a family, and we were captivated throughout. My teenage children, who are 17 and 15, sat through the entire length of the video. I was pleasantly surprised that they were able to sit through a documentary, which does not happen too often. We then had a long, sometimes heated, discussion about the issue. It made all of us think.

Generation RX is a compelling documentary which contains disturbing and alarming information everyone should be aware of before considering ADHD or anti-depressant medications. The doctors will not tell you about it. The drug companies will not tell you about it. You need to be proactive in obtaining your own information to decide what chemicals you are putting into your child and yourself, especially when it comes to altering the way our brains function.

In today's acronym-happy, take-a-pill-to-cure-all society, the only party who stands to benefit may be the drug companies.

It had been suggested to me repeatedly that my son may have ADHD during his first few years in grade school. After doing some research, I chose to ignore those suggestions, and he is now a perfectly normal and active 15-yr-old who makes the honor roll every year.

On the flip side, though, I don't think the other side of the issue was fairly represented in the video. I found myself hoping and waiting for a segment that presented the opposing side who believes in the effectiveness of the medications. It's hard to be pragmatic without looking at both sides.

I wanted to hear some stories of those whose lives were improved because of the drugs, and could they have used an alternate approach? There are shocking correlations between these drugs and violent behaviors, but do they actually "cause" those behaviors? It's hard to tell. However, it cannot be ignored or taken lightly, especially if you or your children are on these meds.

Do your research. Watch this video. Look around and realize just how many people are taking these medications in your own circle of influence. Think for yourselves. Don't let the drug companies do the thinking for you and decide the future of your children.

Parenting w/ good intentions can stifle individuality

2009-05-26T12:22:00.011-04:00

I came across this today:

Let us beware and beware and beware...of having an ideal for our children. So doing, we damn them. ~ D.H. Lawrence

The Pygmalion Project, almost unavoidable in mating, is perhaps even more of a temptation in parenting. Most parents believe quite sincerely that their responsibility is to raise their children, to take an active part in guiding them, or perhaps in steering them, on their way to becoming mature adults. Even more than the husband-wife relationship, the parent-child relationship has this serious factor of interpersonal manipulation seemingly built into it, as though part of the job description of Mother or Father. Unfortunately, this hands-on model of parental responsibility -- well-intentioned though it may be -- all too often ends in struggle and rebellion. The truth is that kids of different temperament will develop in entirely different directions, no matter what the parents do to discourage one direction in favor of another. To manipulate growth is a risky business. In our natural zeal to discourage moral weeds from springing up we risk discouraging mental flowers from growing, our parental herbicides killing the good and the bad indiscriminately.

It's an excerpt from Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey.

You can read the rest of the excerpt HERE.

Freedom and Fear of Loneliness

2009-05-25T11:15:00.007-04:00

My quest in life is freedom. Being free to think, free to choose, free to learn, free to speak, free to laugh, free to cry, free to love, and free to be this person behind the eyes through which I see the world. Being truly authentic, original and unique is my goal in everything that I do. I make great efforts to achieve this goal (at the cost of often humiliating myself). I have a going joke that I have a ministry called "Fall-down Ministry" where people come to watch me make a fool of myself. I think I'm beginning to get the hang of the falling down (and getting back up). :-)

On the flip side, my greatest fear is loneliness. The likelihood that there will never be another one like me... that ultimately, I am utterly alone in this world... is the fear and dread that plague me.

There's something strangely appealing about conformity. It is the magnetic force that constantly tugs at me, and I am certain it has power over most of us in varying degrees. I wish I could just give in to it and be satisfied. That is the chronic thorn in my side. It would be so much easier just to fall in line with the majority and not be so rebellious. I wish I could just flip the off switch and ride the current.

Perhaps the cost of freedom is separation; and in order to be truly free, we have to be willing to face the loneliness.

(Just in case you were wondering... the image is a photo of "Rebellious Slave" by Michelangelo.)

Simple vs. Complex (S/N)

2009-05-21T20:21:00.009-04:00

According to the type theory (MBTI), the Sensing types are said to prefer simple and to-the-point information, and the iNtuitives are said to prefer the complex.

Therein lies my problem of not being able to explain anything simply. My extremely "N" brain is so intertwined around so many ideas and concepts that connect to each other in some way. As soon as someone asks for my opinion and I have a thought, it immediately starts to network with hundreds of other thoughts previously stored, looking for connections. And since I'm a master at finding connections between everything (yes, I think Kevin Bacon lives in my brain)... I need to explore and investigate the connections, how they fit together, and why they fit together... are there any more that I have missed? What other future connections could there be? Could there be possible adverse effects? and if so, how can it be prevented? etc. etc... You get the idea.

And if I'm trying to explain a concept to you, try not to have a puzzled look on your face. In my attempt at simplifying it, I will have to go back to the origin of the very first thought that I started with and try to explain each step that I took in coming to the final conclusion and why. And most likely, there is no conclusion, because I'm always game for continuation.

To an "S," simplifying may mean a condensed version. But to an "N," simplifying means explaining.

If the N is an Introvert (I), perhaps the explanation will be expressed in a more organized and understandable way. But being an Extravert (E), the explanation usually runs out of my mouth as I'm thinking it through; and yes, I agree... oh what a mess it is sometimes!!

And if all that made sense to you, you get two thumbs up! Or... shall I explain further? ;-)

NOTE: Some aspects of this post has been exaggerated to get my point across. I'm not always that complicated and scattered. Honest! :)

My Imaginary Friend

2009-05-20T19:41:00.009-04:00

I was introduced to twitter by @phdbre in the fall of last year (2008). With the encouragement of @danupoyner, I decided to give it a try.

Including that first post, I've written five posts about twitter and have tried to figure out whether it's a good thing or just a nuisance and a waste of time.

The answers went from "this is stupid" to "this is fantastic" to "everyone's gotta try this" to "why am I losing sleep over this" to "people are doing good things on here" to "I know I can find a way to make this work" to "I am really bored with this" and so on...

I think I have finally figured it out (for now :-)). In the beginning, I felt pressured to always say things that are insightful, profound, or hilarious. I thought being noticed by others was the goal of twitter, and perhaps it is for some people. I found myself pressuring myself to post things that would be worth a second look by the readers. Getting people to reply back to me became the carrot that kept me searching endlessly for something brilliant or funny to say (and increasingly feeling incompetent.)

Just like anything else that I start with good intentions, I became disillusioned and bored with the whole thing (this, by the way, is a common trait among ENTPs). I hoped I could find a great use for twitter and make a difference in people's lives. But that was exactly the problem. Meeting the impossible standard I set for myself depended largely on other people responding to me. The more I looked for attention and approval, the less I could be myself. So I mostly stayed away and almost deleted my account but chose not to because of the few inspiring (and real) people whom I follow.

Then, a few days ago, I realized that perhaps the only thing I need to do, ever... is just be myself. If something profound gets said, let it be spontaneous. If I should be judged for saying something less than brilliant, less than uber friendly, less than hilarious, or downright stupid... that should not be my concern.

I began throwing my random thoughts onto the rectangular canvas at the top of my twitter page and observing how they land... no restrictions or fear of judgment. I no longer hover my mouse over the "update" button wondering if my words are worthy to post. Twitter finally feels like a friend. It can be my thinking-out-loud space. And I'm choosing to look at any replies merely as thoughts bouncing back at me. I just bounce them back with no expectations. This seems to be working (for now.) :-)

There's something strangely freeing about releasing all the personal attachment and feelings connected to something and letting go of expectations. The anxiety lifts, and I am not afraid to be me.

UPDATE: I WAS WRONG! HERE and HERE for the latest.

"El Sistema" being launched in the U.S.

2009-05-05T14:51:00.014-04:00

I believe in the power of music and art. I saw the following story on 60 Minutes in April 2008 (it's about 13 minutes). It made my heart swell with pride at what Dr. Jose Abreu has done for the children of Venezuela. This is the type of story that makes me say out loud, "There's hope for us yet."

Feast your senses on a product of his passion (Performed live for TED 2009 - Keep in mind these are high school kids!! Amazing! Video is about 17 min.):

Then earlier this year, he received the TED Prize and requested help in bringing his program to the U.S. and other countries. My new hero! (video is about 17 min.)

This is what he says starting at minute-mark 14:53:

We hope that TED can contribute in a full and fundamental way to the building of the new era in the teaching of music, in which the social, communal, spiritual, and vindicatory aims of the child and the adolescent become a beacon and a goal for a vast social mission - No longer putting society at the service of art,
and much less at the service of monopolies of the elite,
but instead art at the service of society,
at the service of the weakest,
at the service of the children,
at the service of the vulnerable,
and at the service of all those who cry for the vindication through the spirit of their human condition and the raising up of their dignity.

I found out today that the program is being launched at the New England Conservatory of Music in Boston.

More info about the program: El Sistema USA.
You can support a fellow or become a fellow through that site.

Bravo, TED!! I hope with all my heart the program is successful.

What Did I Do?

2009-05-05T10:18:00.004-04:00

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone in social situations were required to fill out an evaluation survey before they suddenly stop calling or showing up? For me, it's not so much about the specific people, but knowing the what, why, and how.

EXIT SURVEY
What, if anything, did I/we do or say to upset/offend you?
Why did you choose the exit option instead of speaking up?
How, in your opinion, can I/we prevent upsetting future visitors?
Would you be willing to consider the possibility that you misunderstood the situation, statement, etc.?
What, if any, were some of the positive aspects of your visit?
If you were me, how would you assess the situation?
You may exit now... thank you for visiting and have a nice life!

War on Love Handles

2009-04-25T14:42:00.008-04:00

Only if the above picture was what he meant by love handles... I would not be writing this post.

When my husband pointed to my love handles yesterday, it was like getting hit over the head with the "reality" bat. Did he HAVE to be so blunt? I was trying soooooooo hard to remain in my denial. It's bad enough that most of my peers in school are 25 years my junior. I now have to face the middle-age middle-bulge.

Since I've been sitting on my butt for the past several months wrestling with the text books and the keyboard, I have neglected my body. It is finally turning on me. My reflection in the mirror is looking more and more like my mother. I am losing my battle with youth. I can no longer hang onto it with just positive outlook and good genes.

Okay... it seems petty, and it seems vain. But I'm suddenly feeling extremely old and insecure...and about to go into depression. After sobbing to a friend for 3 hours last night and giving myself a pep talk all morning, I've decided that I will not go down without a fight. I would love to say that I'm doing it for my health; but let's face it, we all know that our vanity is the real motivation behind our obsessions with diet and fitness. Call me shallow.

I'm declaring war on my age and, specifically, my thickening middle. Grrrrrrr...

A New Chapter - My 'not-so-secret' Secret

2009-04-22T21:34:00.008-04:00

I have a secret shame. Or…shall I say I’ve HAD a secret shame?

But before you jump to conclusions, let me just say that I was raised in a different culture with a different mindset. Some of my friends are puzzled at this shame of mine. They don’t understand why I am so embarrassed by it. But in my family, it is something to be ashamed of. It is what I value the most in life above all else, perhaps even above love (if you can imagine that). Having it means having freedom, in so many ways. And in my immature foolishness, I passed up my first opportunity to get it. Then life happened for about 25 years. I have no complaints, mind you... but there has always been that one source of regret, my secret shame, in the back of my mind.

Then... about six months ago, I asked myself what's preventing me from going after what I've always wanted. I could not come up with one convincing answer. So I challenged myself to go for it.

What is it, you ask? It is… shhhhh… education!

Yes, I became a full-time college student at age f...(uh, never mind…it’s just a dumb number). I’m taking the maximum course load allowed, and my first semester is almost over. I still have to pinch myself every other day to make sure I’m not dreaming. Who would've thought that all I had to do was make up my mind and just do it? I’m like a kid in a candy store thus far, and holding a 4.0 average. Yay! Everybody do the dance!!

If I plan it just right, my daughter and I will be graduating from college at the same time, with my son a few years behind us. Now, if I can just get my husband to sign up for some graduate courses, the whole family could be going to college together. Wouldn’t that be something? A family who gets educated together, goes broke together… something like that… :-)

I'll keep you posted. ;-)

Food for Thought...

2009-04-02T08:43:00.027-04:00

Aristotle said:

We must not listen to those who advise us "being men to think human thoughts, and being mortal to think moral thoughts," but must put on immortality as much as is possible and strain every nerve to live according to that best part of us, which, being small in bulk, yet much more in its power and honor surpasses all else.

Fair enough... It is a frame of mind which is very honorable and something to strive for, indeed. I, myself, wish that I could remain in that mindset. But I stray. Do we not all stray?

I am one of those who often point out that "being human is being human." I am not looking for excuses to be complacent or to behave badly. There is another reason. I see other people behaving in ways that I tend to judge as bad, weak, selfish, etc., and I fail to remember that I, too, can be bad, weak, selfish, etc...
In order for me to accept others as they are, I must first accept that I am a fallible human being as well. I may sound like a broken record if I quote Anais Nin yet again (as it is one of my favorite quotes), but it is very appropriate here and so true:

We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.

At the same time, I am the first to point out when something seems out of line. I immediately try to judge whether something is good or bad. But why do we always focus on what is good or bad? What is noble or unworthy? What is right or wrong? Who gets to decide? Yes, I am a Christian and I believe in what Christ has done. But what of those with a different set of beliefs, even within the Christian community? Are they not valuable and worthy human beings? In addition, the judgments are often based on what I see and what I know. But there's so much more of what I don't see and what I don't know. Logic would dictate, then, that my view is very much incomplete.

I find myself falling into my own square trap again and again. Before I know it, I am back in my box staring at the same old boring walls. My ongoing battle is to keep ramming my head through to the other side for another view. It gives the phrase "banging my head against the wall" a totally new meaning, doesn't it? I am forever wishing that others would venture outside of their boxes and try to see things from other angles. Why people are content with what they already see and not interested in seeing more is beyond my understanding. But... perhaps that, too, is just my narrow view.

I'd like to suggest that we look at another side of the idea of "strain[ing] every nerve to live according to that best part of us." Those of us who strive to be a better human being... what does "better" mean? Does the "better" not indicate that we are comparing ourselves to those who are "worse?" We do not see what is behind the eyes of those people we judge.

Is critical thinking too much to ask?

2009-03-29T21:20:00.012-04:00

I did it again. I turned into a raging lunatic foaming at the mouth at the sound of those detested words:

“We cannot give you a reason; that’s just our policy.”

I consider myself a patient and accepting person, but being told to follow the rules without logic or reason is one thing that makes me go blind with fury.

I used a $20 coupon at a store last week, which could be used on any two printer cartridge packs. I won’t tell you which store it was in order to protect their reputation… but let me just say that the name of the store rhymes with the word Bosco and you can buy items in bulk with a membership. :) (And please note that I generally LOVE this store - I'm not trying to bash it.)

Anyway, with the coupon, I purchased two different cartridges for my two printers at home. I will refer to them as P1 and P2 for the sake of this post. Upon arriving home, I realized I should have purchased P3 instead of P2. I decided to return the unopened P2 package and exchange it for P3 and either pay or get a refund for the difference in price. The $20 coupon would still apply. Simple enough, right? Apparently not.

I arrived at the return counter with the P2 and my receipt, upon which the following ensued:

Clerk 1: “Ma’am, you need to bring back P1 along with P2 in order for us to give you a refund.”

Me (voice level 1): “uh… I don’t want a refund. I just want to exchange P2 for P3. The coupon would still apply.”

Clerk 1: “You cannot get P3 in place of P2, because the price may be different.”

Me (voice level 1.5): “I understand that. So tell me what the difference is, and we’ll go from there.”

Clerk 2: “We need the P1 before we can do any kind of a transaction.”

Me (voice level 2): “I want to keep the P1. In fact, I’ve already opened the package and the cartridge is in my printer. I just need to exchange P2.”

Clerk 1: “We cannot do that, ma’am.”

Me (voice level 2.5): “Why not?”

Clerk 1: “It’s our policy.”

Me (voice level 3): “The coupon said ‘any two cartridges,’ and I just want to exchange this particular one.”

Clerk 2: “We need to see the other one. You need to bring that one back as well.”

Me (voice level 3.5): “Okay… the receipt shows that I purchased the other one with this one, so if it’s the bar code you need, you can take another one exactly like it off the shelf and use it for the transaction, then put it back.”

Clerk 1: “No, we can’t do that. That would throw off our stock.”

Me (voice level 4): “WHAT?!? That doesn’t even make sense.”

Clerk 2: “Sorry ma’am. That’s our policy.”

Me (voice level 4.5): “No it’s not. It doesn’t make any sense. Let me explain this to you. The coupon applied to any two. I got A and B. B doesn’t work. I return B and get the C. I would end up with A and C. I just pay the difference or get a refund for the difference between B and C. You don’t need to see A to do this transaction.”

Clerk 2: “It’s our policy. If you don’t have the P1 package, then take the cartridge out of your printer and bring it.”

Me (voice level 5): “WHY? I DON’T WANT TO RETURN THAT ONE! I JUST WANT TO RETURN THIS ONE! Do you have a brain? Can’t you see the logic? Can’t you see that you’re not making sense?”

Clerk 1: “There are rules that don’t make sense to us either, but we have to follow them because they are the rules. There’s nothing we can do.”

Me (with my veins ready to pop): “NO! That will not do. You have to produce better explanation than that! I’m not leaving here without getting this resolved. USE YOUR HEAD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”

Clerk 1 (with defiance): “There’s nothing we can do!”

Me (now through clenched teeth): “This is crazy… Let me talk to a manager.”

By this time, my frustration level was almost beyond human capacity, and I was practically having an out-of-body experience.

The manager appeared, and he was much more reasonable (thank God! otherwise I might have internally combusted.) He found a way to complete the transaction without much effort, to the clerks’ chagrin.

I’m not proud of the way I behaved. I knew I was right, but I could have handled it a little more diplomatically. I feel like I have a Mr. Hyde side of me that emerges at the push of the right buttons. It makes me cringe. I’ll have to keep a low profile for a while and wear a disguise when I go back to the store…

My point for this post, besides admitting my shortcomings, is that the customer service personnel should be trained in being flexible and being able to look at issues on a case-by-case basis rather than parroting the words “those are the rules.” If you don’t have a good reason for those rules, I will call you out every time.

Psychology of Eve - Another Perspective

2009-03-28T20:38:00.013-04:00

When I started this blog last year, I had every intention of focusing only on my experience with the MBTI and keeping it light and fun. I had another blog which I had decided to place on hiatus where I used to write about spiritual issues. Before I knew it, I lost my focus, and I have no idea where this blog is going. Go figure! It's not unlike the way I do everything else in life. Staying on track is extremely difficult for an ENTP.

So here I continue with my tangent that I started yesterday about religion:

Hugo posted a new blog post about how people interpret the Bible differently and gave this link at the end of his post. It is an interesting perspective of a Bible passage written by RLP (Real Live Preacher). I've been browsing through RLP's blog and found his video recommendations on how to read the Bible - also very interesting...

RLP's writing reminded me of a story of Eve I had written some time ago on the old blog.

My interpretation of what happened in the garden (Gen 2:15 ~ 3:13):

Eve was a gift to Adam. The moment he saw her, he immediately loved her. She came out of him. She was a part of him. He knew he would never be whole again without her.

Eve suddenly found herself standing before Adam as the object of his affection and love. He was everything to her. She liked the feeling of being needed, wanted, desired. The more Adam gave to her, the more she wanted of him. She soon realized that Adam was willing to do anything within his power to satisfy her. She could ask him for anything, and he provided. He ruled over the land and all the other living things. His knowledge and wisdom came directly from God, and there was nothing that Adam was not able to produce for her.

This puzzled and intrigued Eve very much. Adam seemed to have a special relationship with God that she did not have. She was not a part of it. She wanted Adam all to herself. She did not want to share him with God. She was also envious of Adam's abilities that she did not have. Why did she always have to look to him for her needs? She wanted to be able to do things for herself. She wanted to do what he could do.

While she was sitting and sulking one day, a serpent slithered towards her. It looked directly into her eyes, and it was as if its thoughts were speaking to her thoughts. These thoughts were powerfully hypnotizing and seemed to take control of her mind. The serpent understood all that she had been feeling. He told her she had every right to be upset over the relationship between God and Adam. Adam should rightfully be all hers. She should be number one to him, not God.

He was the one who mentioned the tree. He asked her about the tree. He asked if God himself said that they shouldn't eat from any tree in the garden. She thought about it, but could not remember exactly what Adam had told her. She remembered that it was the tree in the middle of the garden, but no other details. As a matter of fact, Adam told her that God gave him the instructions before she was even created. God had not spoken directly to her. She suddenly wondered why. Was she not good enough? She couldn't have her new friend thinking that she was not very intelligent.

She just blurted out, "Ummm... You must not eat from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and... um... oh yeah, you must not touch it either, or you will die."

Her friend chuckled and said, "You will not surely die. Do you realize how silly that sounds? How can you die from eating a piece of fruit? That doesn't even sound logical, does it?"

He kindly looked at her, and he seemed so smart and wise. He made her feel validated.

She asked him, "Then why would God not want us to eat the fruit?"

He smiled and gave her the most amazing information by saying, "The tree is called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. God knows that if you eat of it, you will become like Him and be able to know all that he knows. You will become self-sufficient. He knows you will then no longer need Him. That's what he does not want."

He added, "It's strictly up to you, but I don't see anything wrong with becoming like God, do you?" He then slithered away.

Eve was very tempted. He said she could be just like God. That would mean that She could finally have Adam all to herself. In addition, she can begin to provide for herself without depending on him. She will have to convince Adam to eat the fruit also. If the serpent happens to be wrong, and if something bad were to happen from eating the fruit, she definitely did not want to be alone. She knew there were risks involved, but she thought it was definitely worth a try.

When she proposed the idea to Adam, he was clearly upset. She'd never seen him so confused. However, she knew she could somehow convince him of the idea. She was going to get her way if it was the last thing she did. She pleaded with him to listen to her. She wanted him to see how much she loved him and that they could be happy together without God always having to be in the middle of it.

She brought him to the tree and showed him how harmless and delicious the fruit looked. She touched the tree. Nothing happened. She reached up and picked a fruit. Nothing happened. She looked into Adams eyes and took a bite of the fruit. It tasted amazing. She closed her eyes and waited. Nothing happened.

The bewildered look in Adam's eyes began to soften. He was now puzzled. She smiled and picked another fruit. She handed it to Adam. Adam stood in front of her with the fruit in his hand, and he looked so handsome, so brave. She told him how much she admired and respected him.

He slowly brought the fruit to his lips and took a bite. He did not die. But in that moment, EVERYTHING changed. They saw things that they did not see before. They felt things that they did not feel before. They looked down and suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable about their nakedness. They were filled with fear. They ran for cover to hide from each other. They found fig leaves and sewed them together to cover their bodies.

Shortly thereafter, they heard God walking through the garden. They were terrified that He would find them in their current state, so they hid behind the trees. God called to Adam, and Adam had to answer him. He tried to explain to God that the reason he was hiding was because he was ashamed of his own nakedness. He wanted God to know that he still loved Him. God asked him if he ate the forbidden fruit. Adam pointed to Eve and tried to claim his innocence. After all, God gave her to him. He could not take the blame.

God then turned to Eve and spoke to her. This shocked Eve, in that this was the first time that God spoke to her directly. It somehow gave her a sense of importance for one fleeting moment. Then she was filled with fear again. What will become of her? She had to think of something to save both Adam and herself from this interrogation. She then decided to reveal her source. In her mind, that was the only way. She had to hang onto their survival even at the cost of betraying a friend. She divulged the information that the serpent had given her. She told God that she did not want to listen to him, but that he deceived her and convinced her into believing him.

She had no idea of the truth that she spoke...

As we approach Easter...

2009-03-27T14:16:00.004-04:00

Here they come again, the Bible toting evangelists! Why do they always travel in packs?

I take a deep breath and force a smile.

“No, thank you! I belong to the Catholic church,”

I say politely and walk away. I had not been to mass in months, but that seems to always do the trick. In the past, I had tried simply saying, “No, thank you,” but that tends to give them ammunition to push harder. They start spewing nonsense about Jeeee-sus that leaves such a fowl taste in my mouth about religion in general.

That was my mindset only five years ago. That’s how I saw it, and I knew I did not want any part of what they were offering.

As a child, I was always fascinated with the concept of God of the universe. I used to sit and look at the sky, the clouds, the trees and the butterflies… I used to wonder if there was something that is bigger than all of us, bigger than this world. When I felt like a stranger in a land full of eyes judging me, I’d smell the trees, the rain, the fresh dirt… I’d feel the warmth of the sun and the soft wind caressing my face and be comforted. Perhaps I always knew that unconditional love is the essence of God.

When Christ presented himself to me, I somehow recognized him. He liberated me from the darkness that I never realized that I had been in. When I stepped into the light, it was as if I had always known him. But who is “him?” They told me his name was Jesus. But if they had not, would I still have been drawn to him? If I knew of nothing that he had done or who he was, would I still have known his truth, his love, that breathed a new life into me? I believe I would have.

A new perspective in a new mirror… it is the reflection I see in the eyes belonging to Unconditional Love. He said, “Look at yourself through my eyes; not the world's.” I find myself walking a tightrope. When I look straight ahead at the truth of love he speaks, I am fearless and free. I take steps in confidence. When I look away, I wobble and lose my balance; but with each wobble, it takes less time to find his gaze again.

But the best part about being a Christian is that although I continue to trip and stumble, I will never fall to my death. I can be free of the world’s eye of scrutiny and know that fear does not have any power over me. And above all, religion does not have any power over me.

Confessions of a Confused Extravert

2009-03-06T12:55:00.009-05:00

I thought I was very clear on my E/I preference, but I'm finding myself very confused today about the Extraversion/Introversion dichotomy of the MBTI.

This morning, as I sat in the waiting room while getting an oil change, I had a surprising discovery about myself.

When I walked into the room, there were about four other people in the room silently watching a morning show on TV. I found a seat as far away from the others as I could and proceeded to read a book I had brought. With some effort, I was able to block out the sounds from the TV so I could concentrate on my reading.

Then after about 10 minutes, a middle-aged woman in the room decided to make a comment about something that was said on TV, and two of the men responded by saying, "yes, I agree," and "me too," respectively. That opened the flood gates. For the next hour or so, the rest of the waiting room learned all about this woman's life and her views. I don't remember any details, as I was silently screaming "shut the hell up" in my head the whole time, never looking up from my book.

There were people walking in and out, the door opening and closing, the TV blaring, and this woman talking loudly in her annoying voice about her opinions on things...endlessly... It probably seemed more chaotic to me than it really was in reality. I usually pride myself in my level of patience and understanding. This morning was different. I almost had an anxiety attack and was on the verge of taking action I may have lived to regret when the service guy walked in and called my name. God made the word "Hallelujah" for occasions like these...

It is possible that this could just be an isolated incident. However, I thought about it at length and realized that most of the time, I would rather not talk to strangers. When it happens, I do end up enjoying talking to them. But generally, I prefer keeping to myself. I love conversation, but only in intimate settings. Even with close friends, I feel drained if I am around more than two or three at a time. Now that I am thinking about it, I realize this has always been the case. Why did it not become clear to me until today?? Had I been in denial because of my unrealistic expectation of myself to always be the bubbly, outgoing, social butterfly?

There are five E/I facets in the MBTI Step II (Form Q). I am way over to the Extraverted side in only two of the five: Expressive/Contained and Enthusiastic/Quiet. I am midzone in Initiating/Receiving and Gregarious/Intimate and slightly on the Introverted side in Active/Reflective.

I'm beginning to think I'm increasingly inching my way to the "I" side. Hmm...

Howard Gardner: "Five Minds for the Future"

2009-03-03T09:45:00.012-05:00

I have recently had the pleasure to read "Five Minds for the Future" by Howard Gardner, a professor of Cognition and Education at Harvard Graduate School of Education. His book, "Multiple Intelligences" was featured on one of my previous posts.

In the "Five Minds," Howard Gardner addresses the need to cultivate the minds of tomorrow in this age of technology and globalization. He lists the five minds as follows:

The Disciplined Mind
The Synthesizing Mind
The Creating Mind
The Respectful mind
The Ethical Mind

He takes each of the five minds and discusses them at length, including the challenges that we face as we look at the future of education.

And why do we need to take a proactive stance? Gardner begins by pointing to the following facts:

Individuals without one or more disciplines will not be able to succeed at any demanding workplace and will be restricted to menial tasks.
Individuals without synthesizing capabilities will be overwhelmed by information and unable to make judicious decisions about personal or professional matters.
Individuals without creating capacities will be replaced by computers and will drive away those who do have the creative spark.
Individuals without respect will not be worthy of respect by others and will poison the workplace and the commons.
Individuals without ethics will yield a world devoid of decent workers and responsible citizens: none of us will want to live on that desolate planet.

Reading this book, I could not help but recall a recent TED video about the rapid progress of science and technology that will cause what the speaker, Juan Enriquez, calls the big "reboot":

Now... my take on all this?

I think if (that's a big if) we, as a global community, can achieve the delicate balance across the elements listed in the book, perhaps humanity still has a chance at a bright future. There's a lot of think about...

To Face or Not to Face?

2009-02-26T09:18:00.008-05:00

I'm faced with a dilemma this morning. I came up with a list of possible resolutions, but each one is equally unappealing to me.

Which would you choose?

Participate and make the most of it
Speak up and face the conflict and/or hurt feelings
Call in sick for the day and hope things will be different tomorrow
Walk away

I think the next logical question is: How important is the matter at hand? Do you think the answer becomes clear then? And how do we get out of the #1-#3 cycle if the matter is not important enough for #2 or #4?

I cannot bear #1 because the idea is so bizarre and opposite of who I am. I cannot bear #2 because the risk is too high. I cannot bear #3 because it goes against my ethics. I cannot bear #4 because I still want to be a part of the whole.

Hmm... Do you ever find yourself in a similar situation?

MBTI Strengths: Perceiving (P) Preference

2009-02-13T20:47:00.007-05:00

Here's a quick run-down of the strengths of the Perceiving (P) preference. Radek Pilich has asked me for this post, and I usually try my best to comply when someone asks for information. Mi knowledge, su knowledge... something like that. :-)

Ps are very very good at saying "yes" to everything.

Ps will always listen to new ideas.

Ps make the impossible possible.

Ps will train you to be a very patient person.

Ps will never make you feel rushed.

Ps are at their best when under pressure.

Ps do not demand an apology, just more possibilities.

Ps see failures as opportunities for improvement.

Ps ALWAYS have more fun, because they can find the fun in everything.

I'm almost positive that the quote "when one door closes, another one opens" came from a P perspective.

And since we're at it, let's explore the weaknesses:

Ps are NOT good at saying "no."
Ps will easily get bored.
Ps are NOT good at finishing a task.
Ps are NOT good at being on time.
Ps will tend to put things off until the last minute.
Ps are NOT good at making decisions.
Ps often get caught up in change for change's sake.
Ps will stop to have fun even when there's no time.
Ps are...
Ps will...

See? There you have it! Another list unfinished....

Oh well... Let's just focus on the positive. ;-)

Memes, Cliches, and the Fear of Thinking Freely

2009-02-13T13:55:00.018-05:00

LIVE THE HELL OUT OF LIFE, THEN ALL THAT REMAINS FOR US IS HEAVEN - I came up with that motto yesterday. What do you think? :-)

We are in the habit of giving to what we feel a form of expression which differs so much from, and which we nevertheless after a little time take to be, reality itself.
~ Marcel Proust

I've loved that quote from the moment I read it a couple years ago in the book How Proust Can Change Your Life by Alain de Botton. How often do we continue passing on mere words that do not mean anything in and of themselves? We toss phrases around without questioning, but what do those words actually mean in a practical sense?

And about Cliches, Alaine de Botton writes:

We are obliged to create our own language because there are dimensions to ourselves absent from clichés, which require us to flout etiquette in order to convey with greater accuracy the distinctive timbre of our thought.

I apologize to those who have already heard this from me for being redundant; but honestly, aren't most of us mere followers and repeaters of what the majority believes, says, or does? We make assumptions and build belief systems based on ambiguity. If the majority claims something to be true, shall we blindly accept that to be our own truth? Do we not have our own brains?

Is it laziness? Perhaps. My mother tells me, "Most people do not have the luxury to think; they are too busy putting food on the table." Uh... okay... Then why do we exist? I ask. If, hypothetically speaking, all we were meant to do was go through the repetition of work, eat, and sleep until we die (without complaining, mind you), then why bother?

I suggest that perhaps the phrase "created in God's image" is meant to speak to our creative mind. Humans need to think and create freely. Our intelligence is what separates us from other living things. If we don't allow ourselves the freedom to use our minds to constantly ask questions, explore, and create, then we are no different than the other creatures on earth that are only motivated by their biological needs.

I insist that using our creativity is just as vital to the survival of the human race as metabolism and reproduction. What fun is life if we are not continually entertained with our own ability at making things come to life? A machine can be programmed to mimic and repeat. It takes a human being to be original and create something from nothing. Conformity will be the death of creation.

Marcel Proust also said:

Our vanity, our passions, our spirit of imitation, our abstract intelligence, our habits have long been at work, and it is the task of art to undo this work of theirs, making us travel back in the direction from which we have come to the depths where what has really existed lies unknown within us.

There is an artist, a creator, that lives in each of us. The way I see it, that makes life worth living. Let's live the hell out of life!!

Yay!

HILLIGraphy - Seeds for the Soul

2009-02-05T00:03:00.009-05:00

Some HILLIGraphy for you as food for thought:

Because it desperately needs to perceive separation, the ego has a very limited capacity to love.

For this very same reason, however, it also has a very great capacity to be afraid.

If the ego is involved, then the love around it is always conditional.

We can't unconditionally love anyone we either need or resist.

We should sing with them...not cling to them.

From the book Seeds for the Soul by Chuck Hillig

Elephant in the Room

2009-01-25T18:13:00.009-05:00

Painting - LeRoy Neiman

The following story is absolutely true, except for the parts that aren't. ;-)

A man landed at an airport in an unfamiliar city. He did a quick scan of the city on his way to meet with a big shot client, and he did not have a very good first impression of the town. This was very unfortunate, as what was about to happen was beyond his wildest imagination. This is how it all began: He posted his "140-characters-or-less" thoughts about his first impression on his personal social media account and went about his business.

An employee of the big shot client saw the man's post and immediately alerted the big shot bosses of his big shot company, who then had to take some big shot action right away. And when the big shot bosses get involved, there has to be big shot apologies, big shot hand-shakes and such… and hopefully, that would be the end… right? Wrong!

A big shot news man wrote a big shot story on his big shot blog about the big shot bosses not taking a big enough action to put an end (once and for all) to any negative comments being made about the big shot hand that feeds us. Never mind our true feelings. We must be always civil, polite, and spread fake love all around... by golly, or else!

"Off with his head!"
"Off with his head!"

The chants could be heard all over the nation.

Words to the wise: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT make less than pretty remarks when an elephant is listening. He will step on you. Why? Quite simply, because he can! And he will not hesitate to call in the rest of the herd to trample you as well.

[ADDENDUM: I'd like to add that there are always 360 degrees of very different views to every story. This is just one. Right and wrong is not my focus.]

Proud to be an American

2009-01-20T20:05:00.017-05:00

photo credit

Barack Hussein Obama was sworn into the office as the 44th President of the United States of America. Today. January 20, 2009...

What would Martin Luther King, Jr. say today if he were alive? He would have been 80 years old on January 15, 2009 (five days ago, which happens to be my own birthday). Did he, in his wildest of dreams, dream that a black man would become the president of this great nation only 45 years after he gave that extraordinary speech (8/28/1963) in Washington D.C.? Obama was only 2 years old when MLK spoke those unforgettable words. Who could have imagined?

I became a citizen of the United States on December 17, 1981, one month before I turned 18. I saw a news clip earlier today, wherein a woman (naturalized citizen) stated that she actually felt like an American today. As I listened, I heard myself muttering, "Yes... me too."

Strange but true... I never realized until now that even with my citizenship, I had felt like a stranger in a foreign land all along. When the woman made that remark, it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks that yes, I am every bit a citizen of this nation. I belong here. I am a part of everything that makes this country great, and I am also a part of all the blemishes that it may have. I am not an outsider looking in but a person (albeit very small) who represents what we stand for... what we fight for. And I took part in the making of this day.

Why not until now? I'm not exactly sure; but at last, I genuinely feel it. I AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN. It is truly an honor and a privilege... not to be taken for granted.

The age of technology and social media

2009-01-19T11:22:00.011-05:00

Is it out of control? How do we (the pre Gen-Y or the "Net Generation") keep up with it all?

Here's an interesting video I saw posted here about where we are headed:

I am basically a lazy person

2009-01-16T10:55:00.009-05:00

Okay... the cat's out of the bag.

Those of you who have said, "Wow, how do you do it? I wouldn't be able to do half as much as what you do," please take another look.

I'm basically a lazy person. I do everything in my power NOT to do the things that I don't enjoy doing. It is a common misconception among many people around me that I am a dedicated and motivated hard worker.

The truth? The following facts, on the other hand, are absolutely true:

When I do something, anything, I am a perfectionist (due to my competitiveness - because being competitive is FUN).

When I'm having FUN, I work hard... extremely hard.

I make every effort to see the FUN in the things that need to get done.

See a common thread? Yep! FUN-FUN-FUN~

So... if I'm not having fun, then you'll see me on the couch eating bon-bons. Even if I can somehow force myself to do something (especially if it is to help someone out), I guarantee I won't be doing it for long if I cannot see the fun in it. I'm not claiming it's good or bad...I'm just stating the facts. Yes, I AM LAZY.

I have heard people say, "Not everything can be fun, but you still need to do them." Oh yeah? You go right ahead and plod along, dragging your feet through life. I'd rather hop, skip, and jump... and maybe even do some somersaults. Falling and getting bruised is all a part of the fun. Don't be afraid of a little pain - it makes us grow. After all, the way I see it... if life isn't fun, why bother? God gave us creativity. Use it!

. . .
(Oh, and by the way... I did say that I wouldn't be posting much on here anymore. That still holds true, but sometimes thoughts just come up that need to be said, you know?)

Exploring the ellipsis

2009-01-14T17:09:00.006-05:00

I'll be off exploring the ellipsis (...) for a while. I'm looking for possibilities... and there's ALWAYS more to come! ;-)

If you've read my last post, you probably became aware that there's a big change taking place in my life.

I will have to put all else on hold for a while and also reduce my blogging time. I don't want to shut it down completely, but postings will be very few and far in between for the time being...

Please check back periodically. Thanks!

Linda...

Change and Anxiety

2009-01-11T22:00:00.014-05:00

Change is good, right? Anxiety is normal during a major change, no?

I am so anxious tonight. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep. Everything seems so topsy turvy. Things are changing. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new chapter and something I've been waiting for for a very long time...

I've opened the refrigerator at least 10 times in the last 30 minutes and can't find anything I want to eat. I've checked and rechecked my list for tomorrow. I think I'm prepared. Why am I so nervous?

On my way to the refrigerator yet one more time, I thought perhaps I should just write about my anxiety to relieve some pressure. But what do I say? The words are not there. I may start a series of posts journaling this new adventure. Who knows? I have not decided.

To add to the madness of it all, I've completely turned my business upside down. It has always been a losing proposition. I was giving away more than I was bringing in and hated having to promote myself. I never wanted to start the business. I just wanted to help people. But I somehow got roped into the mindset that I must make a profit with my newly acquired knowledge/skills. I knew deep down that it would not work.

I've decided to turn the MindBlink business site into a just-for-fun playground to showcase and promote other talented people, randomly chosen by me. It will no longer be a profit-oriented business, but a place for me to have fun and use my creativity to encourage others who are brave enough to pursue what they are passionate about. I will continue to offer my MBTI services to whoever is interested and as give-away prizes, but I'm done promoting myself. I'm choosing to shed the weight that was making me sink deeper into the dark hole called "need-to-suceed".

On the home page of the site, I state my reason as follows:

"Why? Because I can!"

I'm too old (and too stubborn) to play the game of worldly success. Instead, I want to use my gifts and resources to encourage other creative people to go after their dreams. That, my friends, makes me feel like I can breathe again.

As to the other (big) change I mentioned earlier... I'll keep you posted!

Ciao! :-)

A twitter experiment/challenge

2009-01-08T18:00:00.020-05:00

THIS POST HAS BEEN MOVED TO (The link to come)

Having some Twitter fun

2009-01-05T22:52:00.008-05:00

Tonight, I'm helping a friend reach the number 2,000 in followers. He is the co-creator of Nibipedia, a site that combines YouTube and Wikipedia. I love what he's doing. He's a fellow fan of TED, which speaks for itself. I'm rooting for him. Why? Because it's fun to root for and help someone achieve something that seems so important to them. As I write this, he has 7 more followers to go. I decided to give away a prize (a book) to his 2,000th follower.

I've seen other give-aways on Twitter, and I've been thinking it would be fun to give something away. And voila! An opportunity for me to help someone reach their goal and have my fun at the same time.

The lucky winner will receive this book:

It has been sitting on my book shelf waiting to be given away as a gift (I had bought five copies - as I have a habit of buying more than one of everything), and I hope I'll be mailing it out to someone tomorrow...

And I can then say: "I've given a prize away on Twitter!"

Yep. That's my goal. :-)

Fallen under the twitter spell

2009-01-03T19:52:00.006-05:00

In a previous post, I expressed my skepticism about twitter. I did not understand what all the fuss was about. However, I was determined to have an open mind and give it a try.

After two months and 100+ followers/followees later, something strange has happened. I've become a tweep without even realizing it. The thing about twitter is that it is so multi-functional. It is your friend; it is your critic; it is your micro blog; it is your support group; it is your business coach; it is your teacher; it is your market researcher; it is your sales team; it is your counselor; it is your comic relief; it is your debate partner; it is your sounding board... etc. It is what you want it to be. (Umm... I think I vaguely remember Danu Poyner saying something to that effect when he challenged me to keep my twitter account for 30 days.) Every time you log in, you become instantly in touch with what the world is thinking, reading, watching, buying, selling, playing, eating... and so on.

"Who cares what you're doing every minute of every day?" one would ask. What I see as a common misconception about twitter is that it is a narcissistic self-promoting tool where a bunch of voyeurs/losers are following your every move for whatever reason. It really does sound rather silly from a newcomer's point of view.

The funny thing is... once you start throwing your thoughts/ideas/questions out there in the sea of minds, people respond. And you see thoughts that catch your eye which you want to respond to. You find friends who share similar ideas and interests - friends with whom you communicate with 140 characters or less at a time. No pressure and no obligations. People come and go as they please, and twitter never sleeps.

It's a world in which "unfollow" is the worst thing we can do to one another. And when you lose a follower, there's always another to follow.

Regardless of the differing opinions on the purposefulness of twitter, the fact remains that it has the internet community under its spell. Although I'm still clumsily trying to navigate my way, there's no denying that the world of twitter has grown (and still growing) too big to ignore.

Twitter seems to have its finger on the pulse of the world, and I'm finding myself humming and tweeting along.

I'm still here, twalive and twell, well beyond my challenge period... And twitter, I dedicate this song to you! ;-)

To spread joy, you have to have it

2009-01-02T00:52:00.007-05:00

I am a huge fan of Alan Watts. During our long drive to Florida and back over Christmas vacation, I listened to several CDs from one of his lecture series. I usually find every point he makes to be thought-provoking and worthy of hours of pondering, and I wanted to share the following thought which I think would be wonderful for us to start off the New Year with:

To spread joy, you have to have it.
To impart delight, yo have to more or less be delightful.
To be delightful is to do things that are delightful to you. You thereby become delightful to others.

People who are interesting are people who are interested. Because they are fascinated with other things and people, they become a fascinating person. A person who does not think about anyone else and has very little going on inside their skull is boring. In other words, your engagement with the external world -- the more you are involved, the more your personality is enriched.

Oh, and one more thought to ponder ~
Watts quoted the following statement from a letter written by a Japanese Zen master:

The sound of the falling rain needs no translation.

Don't you think that fits so perfectly with my #1 motto: RES IPSA LOQUITUR (as written in a previous post)?

Reflection (Part 2)

2008-12-30T08:38:00.009-05:00

RES IPSA LOQUITUR - The thing that speaks for itself

RES IPSA LOQUITUR was my #1 motto for the year 2008. This is a legal phrase most often used to describe evidence in a court room. When I learned this phrase, I immediately wanted to make it mine. I wanted to become the thing that speaks for itself. To be genuine. To wear no masks. To be "naked and unashamed," - a good friend taught me this phrase and what it means. (Being naked refers to revealing our true identities and our vulnerabilities... our human-ness) (so get your mind out of the gutter!) ;)

Although the words naked and unashamed used together in one phrase seem oxymoronic, I did my best to stand as I am without shame in all sorts of situations **cringe**. And I stand here before you, still alive and still naked. Well, no one can possibly be absolutely naked and show ALL of who they are, as there are two sides to every human being (a la Carl Jung). However, this year, I did jump off many cliffs of fear.

SAPERE AUDE - Dare to think

I adopted this as my #2 motto. This seems to be a no-brainer. However, free thinking does not come as easily as one might expect. We generally put too much trust in the experts, the media, and the majority. It is easier to let someone else do the thinking for us. It has become important to me to question everything and not take anything at face value. I decided not to be afraid to explore other views. Things are not always what they seem or what others may claim.

The subject of spirituality is one of those things. I've thought/pondered/struggled through so much in my spiritual journey for the past two years that it's a wonder I'm still considered sane. Why do I have such a fondness for atheists? It's not because I'm trying to save their souls, and it's not because I'm unsure of my own spiritual beliefs (although I do constantly check and recheck where I stand). I have a heart for them because I used to judge them. They've taught me so much in the past 15 months and turned my judgment into respect. I respect the atheists/skeptics I've befriended because most of them are not afraid to question and challenge pre-existing ideas and beliefs, even their own. And NO! Being accepting of other views does not infect your own. Things you fear (homosexuality is another example) are not evil monsters that are waiting to swallow you up. It's the fear itself that becomes the blinders which impair our vision.

So... those of you reading this who happen to be the judgmental or closed-minded types: keep your fears in check and come out of your cozy little comfort zones to see what other views can do for your growth!!

NON SEQUITUR - Does not follow

This has become my #3 motto. Others use this phrase to describe something that is out of place... something that does not belong. I use it to describe myself... my uniqueness and my quirkiness... the fact that I never seem to quite fit in anywhere. I lived most of my life resenting this fact and being ashamed of it. I strived most of my life trying to be like everyone else, someone else, anyone else other than myself. But with the help of everything that has transpired in the last few years (especially the year 2008) and everyone who have been my teachers through it all, I have learned (and still learning) to be perfectly okay with the fact that I am NON SEQUITUR in every group. It is not something to run away from but something to embrace and cherish.

I've spent most of 2008 trying to actually become these phrases. I have not succeeded 100% of the time, but there is a definite transformation. After all, life is a work in progress, is it not?

ADDENDUM: It's funny how letting go and allowing yourself to say "yes" to everything (as I learned from my friend, Chuck Hillig) and leaning in to the process of life gives you a better view of everything.

Reflection (Part 1)

2008-12-29T09:21:00.011-05:00

I have been neglecting my blogs. I have not been very inspired to write many posts. We are nearing the end of 2008, and the things that once seemed so vital to me are starting to look somewhat... well... trivial. I'm breathing deeply and waiting for it (this mood) to pass.

With three days left in the year 2008, I am reflecting back and taking inventory of what I have gained and what I have lost:

At the end of 2007, I saw a star with an orange glow next to the moon. It was Mars. It fed my ongoing fascination with things unknown and unseen yet very much real. I am awed by the fact that it was an atheist who showed it to me. This person subsequently became my close friend and my astronomy teacher. All new things I learn (even from those who do not believe) bring me closer to my God. The irony in that is beyond my comprehension. But that is what makes me excited about life... the existence of endless possibilities that are beyond my comprehension.

My knowledge that every new knowledge I gain makes room for even more unknown things to be explored...gives me comfort. Remember Jesus feeding 5,000 men? I think the five loaves and two fish could have kept feeding and feeding. If there were more people, more would have been fed. To me, the meaning of the story is not just about food... and it's not just about the 5,000 -but the possibility of the numbers beyond the 5,000.

That's all for now. Later, I will write about three Latin phrases that made an impact on my life in 2008. And the difference between doing and being.

For your listening pleasure

2008-12-16T00:40:00.005-05:00

Here's a second try at posting this. These were our guest singers this past Sunday. Beautiful song...

Merry Christmas!

"It was Not a Silent Night"

Procrastination is not always such a bad thing...

2008-12-11T13:43:00.007-05:00

I should be doing something else... I should always be doing something else.

I had a long list of things to do today; but when my daughter suggested that I should let her skip morning classes and take her to lunch, I could not resist. I wrote one of the several excuses that we use for tardiness or absence:

"K is tardy this morning due to mental cramps."

I write the word "mental" scriggly and somewhat illegible so the unsuspecting reader would assume the word to be "menstral." That way, it's not a lie and still looks like a legitimate excuse.

We took off for the mall, made a quick shopping stop, and then ate lunch at our favorite Thai restaurant. Extra spicy. Sweat, tears, laughs, and water...lots of water. We had the most relaxing and wonderful time...and we were both fully aware that it was special.

It's amazing how much more we enjoy ourselves and appreciate the moment when we know we should be doing something else. When we're putting off what we should be doing but, instead, choose to do this thing with this person (whatever, whoever that happens to be)... we're willing to recognize it as a special gift that it is and relish in it.

I dropped her off at school for her afternoon classes, and I still cannot get back on track with my list of things to do...

There's always tomorrow, no?

Tis the season to be grumpy...

2008-12-08T08:46:00.009-05:00

Why I dread the holidays:

Don't get me wrong… I am not trying to be anti-Christmas. This could be from my inability to handle too many things at once, especially when it is not by choice. This could possibly have something to do with my ENTP preference, or maybe it's just me. Is it just me?

I don't know what it is about the holidays. It always gets me in a funk. I get overwhelmed, I cannot think clearly, and I want to shut down… disappear from the scene… and come back when it's all over. Is it just me?

I generally love to be around people. I generally love shopping for gifts. I generally love writing emails, cards, and notes to people. I love being with my family. I love getting together with my friends. I love to eat. I love to sing. I generally love to help out whoever is in need.

One caveat: I like doing all those things on my own terms. Without a preplanned schedule. Without the pressure of feeling obligated. With the freedom of knowing that I don't have to do any of it if I choose not to. The pressure comes from my perception that we're expected to do all of the above all at once. And we must remember every single family member, every single friend, every single neighbor, and every single business associate. That's enough to make me want to torch my address book... Is it just me?

I've concluded that my brain has a limit as to how much scheduling and celebrating it can handle. My to-do list is on strike. The wonderful and joyous activities I usually welcome with delight turn into obligations that I dread. It all makes me want to curl up into a fetal position. Is it just me?

I just want to have the choice not to decorate, not to give to yet-another collection for the needy, not to make yet-another care package for the lonely, not to celebrate, not to shop for gifts, not to party, and...well, basically, not to be merry…

IF we had the choice NOT to do them (without feeling like a social misfit), then actually choosing to DO those things would have so much more meaning and be so much more fun…no? Is it just me?

I love the word simplicity. Was it Thoreau who wrote about it? A teen at our church pointed the following scripture verse out to us yesterday. Although that discussion was not about Christmas, I thought the verse was fitting for this post:

They partook of their food with gladness and simplicity and generous hearts... (Acts 2:46)(Amplified)

I know something's not quite right when I would rather sit in front of the computer staring at this endlessly than get back into the holiday frenzy… Is it just me?

Umm… is it over yet?

Poetry, anyone??

2008-12-05T12:36:00.007-05:00

Feeling a little poetic today...

This poem always comes to mind when I'm feeling like the oddball playing by a different set of rules:

DEAR FRIENDS

Dear friends, reproach me not for what I do,
Nor counsel me, nor pity me; nor say
That I am wearing half my life away
For bubble-work that only fools pursue.
And if my bubbles be too small for you,
Blow bigger then your own:—the games we play
To fill the frittered minutes of a day,
Good glasses are to read the spirit through.

And whoso reads may get him some shrewd skill;
And some unprofitable scorn resign,
To praise the very thing that he deplores:—
So friends (dear friends), remember, if you will,
The shame I win for singing is all mine,
The gold I miss for dreaming is all yours.

~ Edwin Arlington Robinson

----------------------------------------

And I was introduced to this Richard Feynman speech by Hugo several months back... It makes me think. Who would've thought that you can find poetry in a speech written by a scientist?

Short, sweet, simple, and easy MBTI overview

2008-12-05T10:35:00.003-05:00

The ever resourceful Breanne Potter found and posted this video on her blog:

Sometimes, less IS more...

Remembering a Christmas spent with the atheists

2008-12-03T08:58:00.019-05:00

photo from NANA Astronomy Pic of the Day

The word atheist used to make me cringe. How can anyone even fathom that there is no God? I have close family members who claim to be atheists. It is the common thought among Christians, when they hear that someone does not believe, to see them as lost souls... dead spirits. Then the work begins to try to convince them otherwise. If I know something to be true, how can something else in opposition also be true? was the question. The answer always came up that they must be wrong and should be fixed. Isn't that how we tend to look at everything? good or bad. right or wrong. Good or bad is a concept made up by humans in order to judge others and ourselves, IMO. It is my understanding (one view) that it all started in the garden when man wanted to be like God and decide what is good and what is evil.

About a year ago, I jumped into discussions at a highly intellectual philosophy blog run by a Christian and an atheist where I completely humiliated myself. The atheist encouraged me and helped me get back on my (blogging) feet (Thanks, Matt!). I then went looking for more atheists at another blog called the Friendly Atheist (FA). I used to think the name was somewhat oxymoronic because of my distorted view caused by...well...ignorance. There, I found people just as human as the rest...some very friendly and some not so friendly. But they were real. They were not all the same. Their beliefs or non-beliefs varied just as much as the believers. We are not in opposition. There is no line. Our beliefs all fit somewhere along the spectrum of beliefs, the way I see it.

I spent my whole Christmas season among the atheists (on the blog) and felt like they were my extended family. In some ways, I felt closer to them than my Christian friends. That's where I met Richard Wade. As I laughed, played, and argued with them, I slowly washed away my bias. There were some rough and painful verbal exchanges, and I cannot say it was always an easy experience. But if it involves human interaction, easy is not a word that would come to mind. I was determined to do whatever was necessary to be rid of my "religious" judgmental mentality. Richard was there to help me through it all and became (and remains) one of my very dear on-line friends who often show me how things look from another angle. I saw the perspectives that I never saw before. I did not become an atheist. They did not take God away from me, as many Christians would fear. I just learned to appreciate people who have very different views than the one I see. Many of them have left the blog since then. I, too, don't visit as much anymore. We all have transitioned into other things in life, I suppose. But today, I am remembering Claire, Mriana, Jeff, Maria, Ash, Darryl, NYatheist, AJ, Karen, Mike, MTran, Spursfan, and others whose names escape me. They all taught me so much.

I will always remember my one (first) holiday season spent with the atheists.

I saw Mars next to the moon on December 23, 2007. Richard pointed it out on one of his comments on FA.

On December 1, 2008 (two days ago), I saw Venus and Jupiter clustered together with the moon, lighting up the sky.

The universe is just so vast, too awesome to stay focused only on what seems to be true in our own little narrow view of life.

Guest Post: Confessions of a Sofhearted Scrooge

2008-12-01T10:44:00.016-05:00

The following is a guest post by Richard Wade:

(Reprinted from a post on Friendly Atheist, December, 2007)

Christmas time is a pain in the neck for me. But this year I’m trying to be a nice atheist.

Today I went to the hardware store for a light bulb and some batteries. The place had transformed since I’d been in a few days ago, from hardware store to mondo-bizarro-psychedelic-drug-trip-surreal-fantasy-forest. On my left there was a nine foot tall purple and white inflated penguin with snow cap and scarf, as if a monstrous Chilly Willy had been considered for the climax of “Ghost Busters” before they settled on the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. On the right was an army of plastic snowman families dressed in Dickensian clothes huddled together as if for warmth, singing carols. In front of me was a larger than life statue of Santa Claus wearing shades and straddling a Harley Davidson motorcycle with recorded Christmassy versions of “Born to Be Wild” and “On the Road Again” coming from a speaker in his chest. Beyond that was literally a forest of ready made artificial pine trees decked out with every toy-snowflake-bulb-trumpet-ribbon-angel-elf-snowman-reindeer-tin soldier-candycane-package-harp-star-sleigh-icecicle-teddybear-drum-locomotive-doll-bell-resembling, but still unidentifiable object that could ever come out of the scrambled minds of a thousand psychotic Christmas product designers.

If I was struck sharply on the head, given large doses of PCP, methamphetamine and LSD and suddenly transported into the center of an extraterrestrial civilization all in the same instant the experience would be similar but less disorienting than walking into that former hardware store.

The place was crowded and people were almost frantic in their searching and buying. As I stumbled through the labyrinth of lunacy to where I thought the batteries and light bulbs used to be, a woman nearby was looking at a box of exterior Christmas lights and saying, “Look Honey, these change different colors and flash at different speeds. Let’s get these.” My befuddled mind flashed back to 1962 “light shows” with colored lights pulsing to the rhythm of rock music.

I found my merchandise and prepared to escape with what shreds of sanity were still mine when I saw a display of several shelves of plastic nativity scenes with the Holy Family, animals and manger. On the base of each one was a red button labeled, “Try me!” I pressed the button and a recorded voice started saying “When Jesus was born in Bethlehem…blah blah,” followed by some of the more religious Christmas carols. There were eighteen Nativity Scenes on display, so of course I pushed every button. “When Jesus was born…” “When Jesus was…” “When Jesus…” The cacophony of eighteen of them all going at once in staggered sequence was impressive and it continued for several minutes as I left the store, somehow feeling better.

When I got home my lovely, wonderful, deserving-of-anything-I-can-give-her wife said, “Richard, we’ve got to get the Christmas cards sent out.”
Now I’m trying to be a nice atheist this year so I said, “Ohhhhh, okaaaay,” muttering “humbug” under my breath. So I pulled this big carton out from the garage that has 37 pounds of old leftover Christmas cards. We buy them by the boxful to try to save some money and we end up with leftovers. There are pretty ones and funny ones, but no really religious ones. Some say, “Merry Christmas,” or variants of that, some say, “Happy Holidays,” or variants of that, and a few odds and ends mention Hanukkah. The reason we have so many leftovers is because our family and friends fall into so many categories: devout Christians, not-too-heavy Christians, observant Jews, unobservant Jews, a few Buddhists and of course other nice atheists like me.

So we had to carefully sort out who gets what kind of card. Some of the devout Christians are getting touchy lately about sentiments that don’t mention the word “Christmas.” They’re not happy with “Happy Holidays.” The not-too-heavy Christians are fine with anything except of course the Hanukkah ones. Our observant Jewish friends don’t complain, but we don’t really want to send them one that mentions Christmas. Our unobservant Jewish friends don’t seem to mind either way, but still it would be better that they get a Hanukkah or at least a “Happy Holidays” variant. The Buddhists welcome any good wishes even though they know it’s all an illusion. Finally the nice atheists (like me) don’t care much one way or the other but if we send them either kind of card they might think I’m starting to get religion and I wouldn’t want that. But then we don’t want them to get nothing….

Then there was the problem of whether or not we sent a person one of these cards before. We don’t want to send anybody the same card twice. Most of them are pretty smart and would remember a duplicate even if it was several years ago. Some of these cards are getting really old.

All this took a lot of time and I was tempted to chuck the whole carton into the fireplace and print up my own cards that say:

“Wishing that you don’t get seriously injured while fighting in the tiger shark feeding frenzy at the mall trying to find thoughtful and valuable gifts for everybody else who’s out getting stupid cheap stuff for you that you won’t like but will have to pretend that you do and trying to avoid going broke in the whole nonsensical process, in observance of whatever the heck holiday you celebrate, if any.”

But I didn’t do that, because I’m being a nice atheist.

Later my lovely, wonderful, deserving-of etc. wife said, “Richard, could you put up the Christmas lights and set up the tree while I’m at the market? I know it’s a pain in the neck for you, but makes me happy.”
“Ohhhhh, okaaaay.” I said, muttering “humbug” under my breath again. She’s just barely a deist but she has fond childhood memories attached to all this paraphernalia so hey, if it makes her happy, what else is important? So I dragged out several boxes of Christmas geegaws for inside and out without complaining the way I usually do. And this year, just to be a nice atheist, I removed the sign from the front door wreath that says,

“Co-opted pagan symbol displayed for traditional purposes only; no religious affiliation implied.”

This year I’m going to be a nice atheist, dammit. If the neighbors mistakenly assume I’m a Christian, so what? Screw ‘em. (muttering “humbug” under my breath)

Risking life and limb teetering on a ladder I put up the exterior lights around the eves of the house, a string of colored ones and a band of white ones supposedly resembling icicles. That’s weird too. It hasn’t snowed here since 1951. Only here in Lotus Land would people use lights to imitate icicles. My neighbors compete by the thousands of kilowatts to express who is the most frikking joyful, making the neighborhood look like an electrified Currier and Ives lithograph on steroids. I’ve heard icicles can kill people back east. I hate snow. It almost died in it. Humbug.

Oh for the days of my youth when front yard Christmas decorations were sensible like the tumbleweeds painted white and stacked up and decorated to look like snowmen. Decorations with deep meaning like the two Santa feet sticking out of the chimney or the all-aluminum Christmas tree, dazzling in the color-changing floodlights on the dichondra, or the glowing plastic camels carrying guys looking like bin Laden marching toward a glowing plastic manger, overseen by a much larger glowing plastic Rudolph. Those decorations were tasteful and meaningful. What has become of it all? (sigh) Humbug.

Season’s Frikking Greetings.
Richard

Humanity - Our need for opposing views

2008-11-29T09:43:00.012-05:00

Chinese characters are a large part of the Korean culture. When I was growing up in Korea, students began learning the Chinese characters in middle school, as it is an extremely complex form of writing. My family moved to the United States just before I entered middle school, and I never had the opportunity to learn more than the very basic. Now as an adult and perhpas because my dominant function is "N" (iNtuition), I am fascinated by the Chinese language, as well as other ancient languages, such as Latin, Greek, Hebrew... They are so very rich in history and meaning beyond what is apparent and obvious.

This is the Chinese character for man...as in human. It looks like two sticks leaning up against each other. It evolved from the original symbol which used to resemble a stick figure of a man. The portion that made up the lower body is the character you see today. The Chinese characters are used by many Asian cultures in their written language in addition to their own. When a word needs clarification in meaning, they refer to the Chinese characters.

The Japanese culture highly values teamwork and cooperation more so than any other Asian culture that I know of. The Japanese children are taught this character with the explanation that no man can stand on his own without the support of other human beings. People need to lean on and support each other, just as the two sticks support each other in this character for the word human.

As I was reading a favorite controversial blog this morning (the subject is irrelevant here), something dawned on me. I began to ponder about our need for opposition. Perhaps what makes us strong and what plays a crucial role in supporting us does not always come from the same side. The two sticks stand and lean against each other from opposite sides. They cannot support each other from the same side. Both would fall.

What provides us with balance, harmony, and growth may come from places completely unexpected. It may be the thing that we fight to get rid of, the thing that we kick and scream against, the thing that is the thorn in our side that actually helps us to thrive.

Something to think about...

MBTI and the Sensing/Intuition Preference Pair

2008-11-17T14:17:00.014-05:00

Some additional information on the Sensing/Intuition (S/N) preference pair, as I explained to a friend on-line:

Sensing preference focuses on individual facts and what they are. It is all about the details and the practical realities. It prefers information and tasks that are organized and presented in an orderly, sequential format. The Sensing preference relies on the five senses.

Intuitive preference, on the other hand, focuses on what the facts mean rather than whey they are. It pays more attention to connections and implications between the facts than to facts and details alone. It prefers information that is introduced with a "big picture" overview.

If we were talking photography, Sensing would see a macro shot first then may slowly zoom out to take in the bigger picture; and Intuition would see the wide-angle shot first and may slowly zoom in to see the close-up.

Another fascinating thought is that our preferences can be influenced by various factors. We have innate preferences (nature), but the way we experience, develop, use and express those preferences are influenced by our culture, family, education, etc. (nurture). It takes both to make up the complete picture of who we are, and trying to find our true type can be very confusing. The purpose of the MBTI is to find out what that "nature" part of our personality is. I think it can have a significant effect on how we deal with the world and also how we look at ourselves.

Perspectives (Part 2): New and Improved Golden Rule:

2008-11-08T23:23:00.018-05:00

The Golden Rule, as everyone knows, reads as follows:

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

There's another (humorous) version of the Golden Rule that I've heard, which seems to ring true:

"Whoever has the gold makes the rules."

I believe the Golden Rule should be rewritten as:

"Don't ASSUME what you want done unto you is what others would want done unto them."

I have recently come to the realization that we, as humans, generally do not give each other the same consideration we give to a houseplant. We study plants and know that each variety responds differently to the amount of light, water, and other nutrients we give it to help it thrive. As a matter of fact, we make more of an effort to study every other living thing on earth than we do to understand each other. We assume that everyone else does or should think like us.

When a houseplant does not respond to the care that we give it, do we demand that it change its ways? No. We simply try to adjust the light, water, etc., do we not?

Communication break-down happens when we can only see things from one perspective--our own--and make unreasonable demands on the people we interact with (or make unfair judgments). Disappointment and conflict are inevitable when we have unrealistic expectations according to the Golden Rule mindset.

Note: I suspect many people misunderstand the Biblical message from which the Golden Rule comes from (Luke 6:31).

Perspectives (Part 1): How do you see the world?

2008-11-05T22:11:00.014-05:00

Have you ever asked yourself the following questions?

Who am I?
Do I know myself as well as I think I do?
Who are they? Why do they think so differenty?
What motivates me?
Why can't I think/be more like them?
Why can't they think/be more like me?

A friend recently made the following comment:

When someone says something that we agree with, we think it's brilliant. When someone says something that we disagree with, we think it's the dumbest thing we've ever heard.

When you think about it, more often than not, that is our mindset when interacting with each other.

Conflict arises when two or more opposing views cannot agree on which view is the smart/right one and which view is the stupid/wrong one. When we're only focused on what's wright and wrong... eventually, someone has to be wrong. And who wants to be wrong? Do you? I don't!

When you think of the word ocean, does any of the following come to mind?

Are any of them wrong? No, of course not. They are just different perspectives from which we see the ocean.

Can we possibly learn from another perspective, rather than judge it to be right or wrong?

MBTI outer world orientation: J/P preference

2008-11-05T12:57:00.005-05:00

Okay. With the election out of the way, perhaps we can get back to talking about things other than politics... :-)

This is an excerpt (I know... I get a little carried away with my emails) from an email I wrote today to a friend trying to explain the preferences:

The J/P preference deals with the outer world orientation. By the way, Jung's theory only had the 6 different preferences. The way I understand it, Myers and Briggs added this last pair to make the theory a little more digestible... more applicable and accessible through studying behavioral patterns.

It determines whether you prefer to deal with the outer world in a way that is decisive and orderly (Judging) or in a way that is flexible and spontaneous (Perceiving). So... depending on which function (perception or judgement) you tend to extravert, your preference would be either Judging or Perceiving. This is the one that people seem have the hardest time grasping.

If you have a Judging preference, that means you tend to extravert your decision making function. So that would express itself as being more decisive, orderly, structured, organized, methodical, and focused on results. If you have a Perceiving preference, then you tend to extravert your perceiving function. That would show up as being spontaneous, exploratory, adaptive, flexible, and focused more on the process rather than the result.

To give you an example, I have a very clear P preference. I feel more comfortable leaving everything open and flexible. I don't like the thought of anything being close-ended. I like possibilities and that is what motivates me. I like starting projects rather than finishing. My husband Pat, on the other hand, has a clear J preference. He loves routine, organization, and accomplishing tasks. What he has accomplished gives him a sense of security and comfort. Neither one is right or wrong, good or bad. But we constantly have conflicts because we are so different in the way we go through our day. But we're learning to appreciate and understand the other side of the spectrum that we don't prefer and to give each other more space. Believe it or not, just being aware of those things helps me to operate out of my comfort zone when needed.

Eastern philosophies and the "N" preference

2008-10-28T19:27:00.005-04:00

I was telling a friend today that I'm having a Wabi-sabi day. When I use the word Wabi-sabi, I have a picture in my mind of what that looks like/feels like. But to explain it? That's an entirely different story. It sort of means: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect... It's kind of like that ironic "in-between" feeling of soothing melancholy...? ummm... it is the beauty of sad/content resignation...? See? I cannot explain it. You just have to understand it for yourself.

I think there may be a connection between the "N" (iNtuitive) preference (espcially as a dominent function) and the concepts of Eastern philosophies, such as Zen Buddhism and Tao Te Ching.

One who knows others is intelligent
One who knows himself is enlightened

One who conquers others is strong
One who conquers himself is all-powerful

One who approaches life with force
surely gets something
One who remains content where he is
surely gets everything

One who gives himself to his position
surely lives long
One who gives himself to Tao
surely lives forever

~ Tao Te Ching, verse 33

I must explain that I'm not talking about religion here. I just want to illustrate how the Eastern philosophy seems to have an N perspective. Here's another verse:

One who gives freely and without attachment
gets full life in return

One who gives with the secret hope of getting
is merely engaged in business

Truly, they neither give nor receive
any of the treasure from this world below Heaven

~ Tao Te Ching, verse 48

twitter dee, twitter dumb...

2008-10-27T17:09:00.004-04:00

All those twitter fans out there, please don't be offended.

I've decided to go in and see for myself what it's all about. It's been a whole 7 hours since I signed up for a twitter account. Hmmm... still waiting for that "aha" moment. How is this different than my son's cell phone constantly beeping at him (annoyingly) with text messages?

My initial thoughts are, "This is really dumb" (probably because I don't understand it yet).

Please, please try to make me eat my words. I dare you, twitter!

I'll keep you posted...

Questions to ask yourself when choosing a career

2008-10-25T11:08:00.008-04:00

I have recently learned that when doing a career exploration, it is important to ask the following questions:

Who am I?
Taking a good look at yourself and reflecting on what it is that makes you who you are is an important step toward choosing a career. The MBTI instrument is a great tool to use for self-awareness.

Why do I want to work?
The quick answer would be something like "because I need a job to make money." But if that were the only motivator for us to work and we get into a career that does not fit our personality or our interests, we would become unhappy and burned out very quickly - not having an outlet to use our gifts. The following are some examples of questions people ask themselves (taken from my lesson):

Why is my life important?
What role does work play in my overall life plan?
What motivates me to do my best?
What is my mission in life?
What does God have in mind for me?

Also, see my previous post on the MBTI Function Pairs.

Where do I want to work?
What kind of an environment would you like to work in? Indoors? Outdoors? Do you like to work with many people or alone? Do you like contributing as a part of a team? Do you like a structured and orderly environment or a fast-paced creative environment. For me, places like Google and Zappos sound very exciting (check out the links). Zappos also pays their employees to quit! And you can slap your CEO! Imagine that! But I digress... back to my points...

What do I want to do?
What is it that you want to do on a day-to-day basis? What type of work would make you get up in the morning looking forward to going to work? Or is that even something that is important to you? Perhaps routine (yes, frightening thought to an ENTP) is what excites you to do your best.......? I can't even imagine that, but anything's possible... ;-)

The Strong Interest Inventory and the MBTI instruments used together in combination is an excellent way to begin answering the above questions and exploring your career options.

Hilligraphy - "May the Therapeutic Force be with You"

2008-10-24T12:16:00.010-04:00

Here's an excerpt from an essay that Chuck Hillig shared with me some time ago. I've gotten his permission to post it, and I am finally getting around to it. I thoroughly enjoyed his thoughts, and it speaks to my N and P preferences:

Consider this: All psychotherapy occurs at a number of different levels. Obviously, there's the physical component: the therapist interacts with the patient at a particular location in space and time. Equally obvious, there's also an emotional component that invariably shows up as the patient, guided by the therapist, walks into the labyrinth of their own belief system in order to meet and confront the shadowy minotaurs that await within.

Finally, (and here's the real power of therapy), there's also the distinct possibility that a genuine spiritual shift can take place for the patient. For example, after courageously changing the context of how he sees the world, he can become transformed through his own insights.

In order to create the opportunity for such a healing, however, I suspect that all effective therapy has to first begin by helping the patient identify and acknowledge the unvarnished inner truth about "what's so" for him.

For example, it's axiomatic that the only place that we can move away from is the very place that we're currently occupying. In other words, it's impossible for us to change ourselves from where we aren't. I've been wondering, then, if we can use the obviousness of this truth to discover that all good psychotherapy is rooted in the patient's willingness to begin to love themselves unconditionally.

Consider this: Before helping them to change into who they are not, what happens when a therapist first encourages his patient to fully "be" who they already are? In other words, instead of, indirectly, implying that their patients are "wrong" for being as they are, what would happen when the focus is first on making them "right?" In short, the therapist actively encourages the patient to begin to free his inner spirit to become, paradoxically, what that spirit already is.

Go to this link to read the full essay.

Motivators for the MBTI Function Pairs

2008-10-24T11:57:00.004-04:00

Some information I have recently learned about what motivates us to work:

ST - Need to "get it right"

NT - Need to "understand and master knowledge"

SF - Need to "provide practical service to others"

NF - Need to "empower others"

(Taken from On-line Strong/MBTI Combo workshop at G/S Consultants)

A Snapshot of an ISFJ

2008-10-23T10:57:00.003-04:00

A good friend of mine is an ISFJ. I also work with this person on a team which I will not mention to protect the identities of the innocent. (Please don't be offended if you're reading this - You know I love you!) ;-)

Here's an illustration of a recent conversation:

ISFJ: We will no longer be doing X because it didn't work out.

ME: How do you know this?

ISFJ: It was the general consensus.

ME: I see. So the vocal minority got to you again?

ISFJ: It was not just the minority, but I don't want to say too much.

ME: Okay. No problem. Let's make the adjustments.

ISFJ: After next week. We need to finish out the month.

ME: Umm... if it's not working, then why don't we just change it now?

ISFJ: We really should finish out the month, since that was what was decided at the beginning of the month.

ME: ??? I don't get it...

A snapshot of an ISTJ

2008-10-19T08:28:00.005-04:00

This conversation actually took place between me and my ISTJ husband:

ME: What time do you need to leave for the airport?

HUSBAND: At noon. That way, I'll be there two hours before the flight.

ME: Okay. I know how you usually get with the time, so how about planning on leaving at 11:00 am, so you don't rush me?

HUSBAND: Good idea.

AT ABOUT 10:40 A.M., WHILE HAVING A CONVERSATION OVER COFFEE, HE STARTS GETTING ANTSY, HIS EYES DARTING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE CLOCK AND ME.

ME: Hey, I agreed on a time that was one hour earlier so you wouldn't rush me!

HUSBAND: I know, but I can't help it. The new time is now the time that I'm working with, and I still want to leave 15 minutes early.

ME: *sigh*

What goes around comes around

2008-10-16T18:54:00.004-04:00

Chuck Hillig sent this story to me that he received from a friend. You may have heard it before, but it really is a good story. It reminds me of Leo Tolstoy's short story called Three Questions (another great story): :-)

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

“I want to repay you,” said the nobleman. “You saved my son's life.”

“No, I can't accept payment for what I did,” the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

“Is that your son?” the nobleman asked.

“Yes,” the farmer replied proudly.

“I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.”

And that he did.

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Many years afterward, the same nobleman's son who had been saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Some things to remember:

What goes around comes around.

Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Sing like nobody's listening.

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

Outdoor neighborhood family room, anyone?

2008-10-13T10:19:00.009-04:00

I've been reading about ideas regarding the future of children's education over at Peter Gray's blog "Freedom to Learn." One of the commenters there has a blog of his own called Playborhood. On one of his posts, he talks about his plans to design an "outdoor family room" in his front yard where the neighborhood parents and kids can stop by anytime to just hang out.

This sounds like a very interesting and a wonderful concept in theory. But will it work? What do you do with that one annoying neighbor who's loud, boisterous, opinionated, eats all the food, drinks all the beers, and does not have a clue? What do you do with the cliques that will inevitably form? What do you do with that one kid who none of the kids want to hang out with? What do you do with the few women whose main goal in life is to gossip and spread rumors?

Not to put a damper on the plans before they even get off the ground, but I foresee so many of the same problems that seem to surface in any organization, such as church.

There will be the ones who are "in" and who are "out."

Is it just me? Am I just being negative?

By the way, Playborhood is a wonderful blog. He has some great thoughts...

HILLIGraphy - "Seven questions to change your life"

2008-10-11T15:02:00.006-04:00

Seven Questions to Change Your Life
By Chuck Hillig

The quality of your life is often determined by the quality of the questions that you ask yourself. Your inner mind is, quite literally, compelled to answer all of your questions….voiced and unvoiced…no matter how limiting or self-destructive those questions might be.

For example, if you’ve ever wondered, “Why don’t things ever work out for me?” you’re going to come up with a very different answer than you would have if you had asked yourself “How can I learn more about myself from what’s happening right now?”

And, if you’re foolish enough to ask yourself “Why am I such a loser,” your mind (in its infinite love for you) will dutifully come up with a list of all of the reasons why you are, in fact, “a loser”…even if it has to make those reasons up! You see, phrasing the question like that subtly implies that you’re already a loser, and now you’re just trying to discover “why.” Your mind is constructed to automatically support and validate all of your inner beliefs. In short, its prime directive is to make your perceptions about yourself and the world “right.” Avoid asking questions that only serve to contract your soul and harden your heart.

Whenever you have some quiet time, here are other questions for you to ask yourself:

1) “What are the five things that I value most in my life?” List them in their order of importance. You might be surprised which one shows up on top.

2) “What are the three most important goals in my life right now?” When you write them down, be sure to notice any difference between your stated goals and how you are actually living your life out on a day-to-day basis.

3) “If I won 100 million dollars in the next PowerBall lottery, how would I change my life?” This answer will tell you a lot about your selfishness, compassion and values.

4) “How would I spend my remaining time if I knew for certain that I would die exactly six months from today?” Would you travel to some place special? Hang out with family and friends? Become more spiritual?

5) “What kind of work would I do if I had that 100 million dollars mentioned above, but was still obliged to do some kind of 8-hour a day job in order to have access to it?” Maybe the answer to that question will tell you more about your true passion in life.

6) “What activities in my younger years gave me the greatest feeling of freedom, importance and satisfaction?” Are you still participating in any of them? How do you stop yourself from enjoying those same activities right now?

7) Here’s my favorite: “What’s the one thing that I’d do in (and with) my life if I absolutely knew for certain that I couldn’t possibly fail?”

Asked with an open heart and without any expectations, these seven questions will unlock further treasures of self-awareness.

MindBlink up and running

2008-10-08T23:29:00.005-04:00

I apologize to those who could not access this site for several days (seemed like weeks). I had a slight technical difficulty, and my blog was not accessible through certain browsers.

However, the issue has been resolved and...

I'M BACK!! Yay!! Now everybody dance! :-)
:

Bre-Day #3 - MBTI and religion, culture, etc.

2008-10-02T22:30:00.006-04:00

It's Bre-Day #3!! Breanne Potter has been so gracious as to answer my never-ending and sometimes off-the-wall questions. As usual, my questions range from blogging, religion, culture, and misc. I think for future Bre-Day posts, I should stick to one topic. (I need to take a deep breath and ask myself What would a J do?)

Linda: Do you think there is a correlation between type and blogging? Do you think certain preferences are more attracted to blogging than others? (How about if we go into the Step II facets?)

Bre: I love this question! I asked this on one of my blog posts and assumed it would be similar to any writer in general. The reality is that blogging is different from just being a writer. In my informal nonscientific poll, INTP and INTJ’s were overwhelmingly the most frequently occurring blogger types. In many ways this makes sense. I feel that both I’s and E’s are equally likely to be bloggers. N’s would have the fantastic ability to be more verbose and create meaningful connections between ideas and concepts. T’s would be comfortable tacking an idea/topic and create structure to their opinion. J’s would likely set a schedule to updating their blog and be consistent in posting topics. This is just my guess!

Linda: You have mentioned before that there are some cases where the type can change, such as when there is trauma or other major life changes. How about spiritual enlightenment? Could that bring about a change? (Weird question, but I’ve always wondered this.)

Bre: I have thought and thought and thought about this for 3 days. You really challenge me!!! I suppose it’s possible for a large spiritual rebirth to affect the way you look at the world and values enough to affect the way you answer MBTI® questions. I would guess that trauma and spiritual enlightenment aren’t all that different in terms of the affect on the mind other than whether it is a positive or negative perspective. They are both likely to shift value systems, trust issues, and orientation to the world…so I guess it could affect the way one answer the MBTI®.

Linda: I’ve heard somewhere that when making decisions, given the type vs. strong cultural influence, the culture tends to trump the type. Firstly, do you think there’s any validity in this statement? Secondly, do you think this would be also true with religious influence (i.e. fundamentalism)?

Bre: I’m not sure about the idea that culture trumps preferences. I say that from my personal perspective as a Thinking female. If cultural expectations trumped my preferences I’d probably be married with 3 kids by now! I would guess that it largely depends on two factors: how strong the person’s preferences are and how strongly the culture reprimands those who reject the norm. For instance, if I had unclear preferences between T-F I might be more inclined to follow the cultural norms. Also, if the result of rejecting the cultural norms were negative, I would be more inclined to do what was expected of me. I don’t know how this in with non-Western cultures. As an example, in Japanese cultures, Extraversion does not look like an Extravert in the United States. What if someone in the Japanese culture tried to look like an American Extravert? Would they be culturally reprimanded? I’ll defer to anyone with more world experience on this one!

Linda: In her recent post on MindBlink, Ruthie referred to a VLS test which was a part of a class (marketing) assignment. Have you heard of this test?

Bre: I have not heard of that. I certainly would like to learn more though. There are hundreds of thousands of assessments out there. I try to stay on top of the ones that are based on Jungian core concepts, but it is a mountain of a task to keep up with!